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Sally McNeil was arrested in the late 90s for the murder of her husband, Ray McNeil. Netflix’s Killer Sally worked to explore how the media and authorities portrayed Sally as a female bodybuilder whose recollection of the murder was improbable. But the true crime docuseries relies heavily on Ray’s physical abuse of her and her children. Killer Sally explores the abuse and why John Jr. Lowden said one specific thing to her mother after her arrest for the murder.

Sally McNeil, mother of John Jr. Lowden in 'Killer Sally.'
Sally McNeil, mother of John Jr. Lowden in ‘Killer Sally’ | via Netflix

Ray McNeil started to hurt Sally after their marriage

Sally was still a Marine when she met Ray through a friend. He was also a bodybuilder and former Marine. But Sally called it “lust at first sight ” instead of love at first sight.” His muscles and physique enamored her. The two fell in love, and Sally fell even harder. At the time, Sally had two children, John and Shantina, from a previous marriage. She, too, was physically abused in that marriage.

The cycle of abuse would only continue after her marriage to Ray in 1987. By then, there was a power struggle as Sally made the income to support Ray’s steroid use. Killer Sally explored how she was involved in “muscle prostitution,” where she would wrestle men for money. Three days into their marriage, Sally revealed that Ray had cracked her lip and punched her in the face.

Testimonies from Sally’s daughter Shantina testified that Ray would often choke her mother. On one occasion, Shantina had heard a sickening crack sound. She discovered Ray had broken her mother’s nose. Sally filed a report but recanted at his behest. John’s testimony included that Ray was abusive toward him and his sister. Ray would often hit them or spank them when they did something wrong.

But the docuseries also dived into how Ray’s friends saw Sally. They believed it was not a one-way street as Killer Sally explored Sally’s violent past. Killer Sally also showed footage of Ray’s lover, Marianne, who told police that Sally was also abusive. Shantina and John admitted their mother had a temper but stuck by her side after the murder.

John told his mother the murder was self-defense in ‘Killer Sally’ footage

On Valentine’s Day 1995, 911 received a call from Sally confessing to having shot her husband in the face and is dead. In the background, Shantina can be heard yelling. At the time of the murder, John and Shantina were home. Sally’s story explained that Ray was not home for Valentine’s Day, and she ventured to find him. But at home, they had gotten into an argument. Sally believed the use of multiple steroids in Ray’s system could lead her to be in danger. As a result, she shoots Ray twice.

Killer Sally shows real-life police footage of Sally’s murder investigation and her last moments with John and Shantina. While both were present during the murder, both children hugged and cried with their mother. Sally apologized to her children for what she had done. But John’s response was interesting, to say the least, as he tried to ensure his mother that everything would be okay.

“Remember, that police officer said if you thought that he was gonna kill you, that was self-defense because of the marks on you,” said John at the time. John was eight years old in the fourth grade when the murder happened.

To many, the statement would seem peculiar. But both Shantina and John witnessed the physical abuse Ray inflicted on their mother and themselves.

How long did Sally serve in jail for the murder?

As John had said, Killer Sally explored how her lawyers claimed Sally acted in self-defense. They argued Sally had “battered woman syndrome” as someone her husband consistently assaulted during their marriage. At the time, the public and news outlets did not buy it. They could not fathom that a female bodybuilder could kill her husband.

The trial also pointed out how Sally reloaded the gun and fired the second shot at Ray’s face. Killer Sally also explored how the prosecutors felt Sally lacked the necessary reactions and emotions after the murder. The media and public turned against Sally due to her image and disregarded what she and her children lived through at home.

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Ultimately, Sally was convicted of second-degree murder and given 19 to life. Since her imprisonment, the lead news anchor that broke the case felt guilty over how the media portrayed her. According to The Guardian, “the idea that Sally could not be a battered woman because she was (in costume) a muscular, man-destroying killer, is ‘not just exclusive to the 90s or beforehand,'” said director Nanette Burstein. “That’s still the case today, unfortunately.” Sally was released from prison in 2020.

Killer Sally is available on Netflix.

How to get help: In the U.S., call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988 or 1-800-273-8255. Or text HOME to 741-741 to speak with a trained crisis counselor at the free Crisis Text Line.