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After what appeared to be an amicable announcement regarding their intent to go their separate ways, Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler’s divorce got extremely messy very fast. In her divorce filing, the Very Cavallari star accused her soon-to-be ex-husband of marital misconduct. She also asked for primary custody of their three children and accused Cutler of withholding funds from her.

For his part, the ex-football player was not going down without a fight. He asked for joint custody of his children and it has also been claimed that he refused to move out of their joint home. Thankfully, the pair have been able to come to a custody agreement with the help of a judge.

However, since things got so explosive, we are now finding out more details about their split.

Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler’s divorce did not come as a shock to fans

Since Cavallari and Culter had been very transparent about their marital woes on Very Cavallari, fans weren’t exactly shocked when the couple finally decided to pull the plug on their relationship. “They have brought up the idea of divorce several times in the past years before and ultimately decided they truly both aren’t happy,” an insider told E! News. “They have tried to work it out for years. The kids definitely kept them together at times. They have really tried to make it work for years, but are on different pages about lifestyles and were arguing a lot.”

On the reality show, Cavallari often spoke about feeling unsupported by Cutler and feeling overwhelmed with juggling her work, motherhood, and her marriage.

“From the outside, things are so perfect and things are so great,” she explained during an episode. “But actually, they’re not. And that sucks. It sucks. That’s the thing, though, with marriage… it’s ups and downs. Jay and I have problems. I’ve always been very vocal about that. We have to work at our relationship, so hearing him say that we’re perfect is kind of silly to me. We definitely have issues.”

Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler have very different outlooks on life

Though there had been speculation about infidelity, and Cavallari’s explosive claim about Cutler’s marital misconduct, it appears to all boil down to the fact that the pair have drifted apart over the years.

While Cavallari wanted to continue finding success with her Uncommon James brand in Chicago and with opportunities in LA, Cutler seemed content to live a quiet life on the family’s Tennessee farm.

“Kristin and Jay are just two totally different people and this really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone,” an insider explained to Hollywood Life. “Kristin has talked about [her relationship struggles] on Very Cavallari a lot — she meant everything she said there and kept it very real. She was not happy for a while. Both came to the decision and it wasn’t one-sided.”

Kristin Cavallari thought Jay Cutler was lazy

Following his retirement from the NFL, Cutler became completely laid back, something that wore on The Hills alum. “She was growing increasingly impatient with him,” an insider told Page Six. “He was supposed to take this big job at Fox Sports and have a life after football that would get him up off the couch and do something, Instead, he backed out — this is [three] years ago — and joined the [Miami] Dolphins. That didn’t pan out well, and he was left with no TV gig until she got the show for them. Kristin views herself as very polished and put together, and [Cutler as] this lazy, unmotivated guy.”