Lauren London on Nipsey Hussle’s Death: ‘I Felt Like God Dropped the Ball On Me’

Lauren London has gone through a major transformation since losing her longtime love, Nipsey Hussle. Hussle died unexpectedly and tragically in 2019. In a rare interview, London opened up about her life with Hussle and how his death changed everything she knew about life, specifically her relationship with God. London says her faith was low in the wake of his death, but it’s been her biggest crutch simultaneously. 

Nipsey Hussle and Lauren London embrace in photo; London says she felt God dropped the ball on her after Hussle's death
Nipsey Hussle and Lauren London | Unique Nicole/Getty Images

Lauren London says she felt like God dropped the ball on her because of Nipsey Hussle’s death

London has always credited herself with being a spiritual being and closely connected to God. A spiritual connection is something she says she shared deeply with Hussle. But after his death, she says her faith shifted briefly. 

Source: YouTube

“I remember hearing people say, ‘You don’t really have a relationship [with God] until you question God.’ And I had a lot of questions afterward. Real ones,” she told Angie Martinez during an appearance on her In Real Life podcast. “I prayed really hard when I heard he had gotten shot, and then I felt like, ‘Oh my prayer didn’t work? So prayer didn’t work.’ So then I was like, ‘What’s really going on? Why? How?’ I feel like God dropped the ball on me. That’s how I felt. I took it real personal.”

But after some time, London says her thought process changed. “Then, I started to feel like, ‘Why not you?’ Who are you? Women go through this daily. Why not you?’ So I had to get out of my ego. And then, my relationship started,” she added.

She previously opened up about how her faith wavered on an episode of ‘Red Table Talk’

In a 2020 episode of Red Table Talk about grief connected to gun violence, London explained how her faith in God was tested after Hussle’s death to the co-hosts. Despite such, she’s relied heavily on her faith to help her through an uncertain time.

“For me, what’s really been important is like, connecting with God. And that’s been a struggle because something horrible happens in your eyes and you’re like, ‘How God?’” she told Pinkett Smith. “Knowing that there is life after this life – it’s not easy. I don’t always wake up on the enlightened side of the bed and the days that I don’t I let myself because I’m human and I’m not always going to feel so, ‘I’m gonna be okay,’ and I don’t. And that’s okay too.”

Source: YouTube

Another thing that helps London is interacting with Hussle’s fans whom he’s touched. She’s continued several projects Hussle was attached to prior to his death and meets many of his fans along the way.

“I love to meet people that Nip has really inspired because it feels like he’s still here. Even though he is, in a way” she said. “It’s like his purpose that was completely outside of any of us – his purpose –  he’s touching people still and I find that when I run into people that tell me how he’s changed their life, what they’re doing with their life right now, it fills me up.”

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