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From the time she was a little girl, Meghan, Duchess of Sussex was encouraged to speak out and to stand up for herself. As an actor on the hit drama series Suits, she pushed back against some of the sexism that her character, Rachel Zane endured. Meghan also spent her time away from the set as an activist and humanitarian giving back to girls in particular.

Therefore, when she met and fell in love with Prince Harry, someone who shared her passion for helping others, Meghan hoped that a royal platform would help further the opportunities for the pair of them to give back. Unfortunately, the duchess never anticipated any pushed back.

Not only did royal fans make things unwelcoming for Meghan, but she also had to relinquish the narrative of her own life which stripped away from her independence and her voice. Now, a royal expert has revealed that Meghan was beyond irritated by royal life.

Meghan Markle never understood the royal rules

As a self-made millionaire, Meghan is extremely independent. Already age 36 when she wed Prince Harry, the duchess had her own ideas and opinions and she was used to sharing them. However, within the royal family, there is a ranking.

Nothing could come before the queen, nor could she just do things without first consulting royal aids or other members of the royal family. When Meghan did voice her ideas and opinions, she was stifled before being labeled too independent or self-confident.

Duncan Larcombe, who covered the royal family for London’s The Sun explained, “As an actress, Meghan expects perfection, But when you’re in the royal family, you have to learn that it’s not about you, it’s about what you represent.”

Meghan Markle gave up her entire life for the royal family

In addition to being blocked at every turn by the royal family, the U.K. press and public launched a campaign against Meghan so that nothing she did was shown in a positive light. The duchess’ otherness, a mixed-race American, made her an easy target.

Royal author Tom Quinn explained the press’ antagonism toward Meghan to Fox News,

The British press are famously good at taking someone and building them up and saying they’re absolutely wonderful. And then when that story runs out of steam, they need something else. So they then come up with the opposite. They run that person down… The nicknames were picked up by the press and used against Meghan. They did, in fact, come from the palace.

In the end, Meghan felt like she had given the royal family and the U.K. everything, and she got little to nothing in return.  “I gave up my entire life for this family,” she reportedly said according to royal reporters Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand’s book Finding Freedom via The Times. “I was willing to do whatever it takes. But here we are. It’s very sad.”

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Meghan Markle found royal life ‘immensely frustrating’

In her last days as a working royal living in the U.K., and in the months leading to Megxit, Meghan was at her wit’s end. In fact, when she wasn’t working, she was holed up in Frogmore Cottage away from the spotlight.

In the new documentary, Harry and Meghan: The New Revelations, royal biographer Andrew Morton explained the duchess’ challenges. “She’s been frustrated by the fact that she’s not been able to give her side of the story,” he revealed via Daily Mail. “All kinds of stories have come out about her, and she’s not been able to answer back, and it’s something she’s found immensely frustrating.”

Morton, who is famous for penning Princess Diana’s biography Diana: Her True Story deeply empathizes with Meghan. He reflected,

I feel for this poor girl, I mean, she came into this country, parachuted in. She’s marrying into a very difficult family, that everybody finds difficult to come into. And she’s someone who didn’t know an awful lot about British history, British culture and as she said herself ‘she’s gonna hit the ground running. And she hit the ground running, but she found she came up against a brick wall.