Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar’s Secret to Keeping Their Relationship Fresh

Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar have been married since 1984. They have been together a lot longer than most couples these days. What’s their secret to a lasting marriage? Michelle and Jim Bob shared some of the ways they nurture their decades-long union. Some of their tips are a bit unusual and some might be worth trying. Here’s how Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar keep their relationship fresh.

Michelle stays available whenever Jim Bob Duggar wants sex

Michelle believes it’s a woman’s duty to be available for sex whenever her husband wants to be intimate. In an interview with Today, she said one of her close friends gave her this advice before she married her husband Jim Bob Duggar in 1984. Here’s what Michelle’s friend had to say:

She said, ‘In your marriage, there will be times you’re going to be very exhausted. Your hubby comes home after a hard day’s work, you get the baby to bed, and he is going to be looking forward to that time with you. Be available. Anyone can fix him lunch, but only one person can meet that physical need of love that he has, and you always need to be available when he calls.’

Even after decades of marriage, Michelle says she still follows her friend’s advice. She credits obeying this rule to helping her marriage thrive. “That has been such a lifesaver for our marriage,” she said. Jim Bob agreed, saying, “We’re like a newlywed couple every day!”

They go on dates

Many married couples let the fire die out after they’ve been married for a couple of years. Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar have been married for a long time, but they still go on dates. They told Today it’s important for couples to still have a date night every now and then. Saturday nights are when they get together and have one-on-one time. They said they usually go out for ice cream. “It’s a really special time,” Jim Bob told Today.

Michelle and Jim Bob wait between 40 and 80 days after having a baby to have sex

The Duggars take breaks from sex now and then. Michelle told Today they abstain from sex when she has her period and after the birth of a child. They have sex rules after childbirth partly because of Old Testament traditions and partly because it’s what works for them, reports Today. “When you’ve missed it for seven days, you look forward to it even more,” said Michelle in her interview.

They don’t have disagreements in public

Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar|Matt McClain/ The Washington Post via Getty Images
Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar|Matt McClain/ The Washington Post via Getty Images

Another thing the couple does to keep their marriage fresh involves the way they handle disagreements. On her blog, Michelle said it’s important to never have arguments in front of others and to never put your spouse down in public—especially in front of your children. “Don’t ever talk about things in front of your children that are supposed to be between you and your husband only. Step aside and say we’re going to talk about this privately. And don’t ever put your husband down in front of your children or other people, especially your families. Talk privately. We always say in our family, we praise publicly, but we correct privately,” she wrote.

Read more: Fans Had a Lot to Say About John-David and Abbie Duggar’s Plug for the Movie ‘Unplanned’

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