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Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar have had what seems to be a happy, successful marriage for more than three decades. Most fans wonder how the couple has managed to stay married so long. What’s the key to their success? Some clues can be found in the marriage advice Michelle gave to newlyweds on her personal blog. Michelle wrote this advice after a Counting On fan asked her what advice she would give Jill Duggar about being a wife. Here’s some of Michelle Duggar’s marriage advice.

Never turn down sex with your spouse

Michelle shared some advice she received from her close friend Gala. She revealed she continues to follow this advice even after more than 30 years of marriage.

Whenever I speak with groups of other moms and married women, I always share this advice. It’s been the best advice that was ever given to me in regard to my relationship to my husband, Jim Bob. [My friend] Gala had only been married for three years, but she had very wise advice…

She told me: ‘Michelle, I know you’re so excited. You’re a bride-to-be, but someday you’ll be at this point. I’ve been married three years and I’m still happily married. I have one child, we’re expecting our second and I’m big pregnant. You’ve got to remember this. Anyone can iron Jim Bob’s shirt, anybody can make lunch for him. He can get his lunch somewhere else. But you are the only one who can meet that special need that he has in his life for intimacy. You’re it… So when you are exhausted at the end of the day, maybe from dealing with little ones, and you fall into bed so exhausted at night, don’t forget about him because you and he are the only ones who can have that time together. No one else in the world can meet that need.’

Don’t fight in public

It’s tempting to start arguing right then and there whenever your significant other rubs you the wrong way, but Michelle says it’s best to save disagreements for the right time and place. If your children are present, it’s definitely the wrong time to argue, according to Michelle.

Don’t ever talk about things in front of your children that are supposed to be between you and your husband only. Step aside and say, ‘We’re going to talk about this privately.’ And don’t ever put your husband down in front of your children or other people, especially your families. Talk privately. We always say in our family, we praise publicly, but we correct privately. And that’s marriage advice that I would give to anyone.

Get marriage advice

Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar|Peter Kramer/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images
Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar|Peter Kramer/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images

Marriage is tough, so it’s important to realize when you need professional help. There are some issues you might not be able to handle alone. Michelle advises married couples to get outside advice when necessary.

There are going to be those times in your marriage where you might not always agree; you might not see things eye to eye and sometimes you may need a trusted third party to be a counsel for you in your marriage. Feel free to go to that trusted wise counsel that you both respect and get counsel when you need it. We have all been there. Yes, we have a oneness with spirit in Christ, but there are times that we need others to give us life counsel. So be willing to go seek it together.

Read more: Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar’s Secret to Keeping Their Relationship Fresh

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