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When it comes to memorable romantic scenes, Grey’s Anatomy offers up plenty. Most people were swept away by the relationship between Derek Shepherd (Patrick Dempsey) and Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo). Admittedly, they had their troubles. But they became the symbol of true love many looked up to. However, some fans say that the most iconic Grey’s Anatomy scene of all time did not age well. And it happens to be a scene between Meredith and Derek.

MerDer: a relationship unlike all others

Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) and Derek (Patrick Dempsey) in 'Grey's Anatomy'
Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) and Derek (Patrick Dempsey) in ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ | Karen Neal/Disney General Entertainment Content via Getty Images

Fans remember the first time Meredith and Derek came together for what they expected to be a one-night stand. It was the first episode of the whole series. All they knew about each other was that they were a girl/boy in a bar. He was her handsome stranger, and she was his.

As luck had it, “fate” intervened. The two ended up working together as doctors at the Seattle hospital. They soon made every episode just a little steamier. And it only intensified once they settled into the joy of romance.

Most fans couldn’t get enough of their relationship. We laughed with them, we cried with them, and we savored every moment between the two. Therefore, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that many of the most noteworthy scenes from Grey’s Anatomy are those that are between Meredith and Derek.

The iconic ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ MerDer scene

Between Derek and Meredith, there are many romantic moments. Remember Derek saying, “Don’t you see? Don’t you understand? You’re the love of my life. I can’t leave you.” Or Meredith saying, “I believe that we can be extraordinary together rather than ordinary apart?” These are the types of lines that made our heart melt, and even after watching them again and again, they still tug on the heartstrings.

However, one of the most well-known moments led to an interesting conversation on Reddit. It is the iconic Grey’s Anatomy scene where Meredith says, “Pick me, choose me, love me.” The Reddit user asks, “Was that Meredith pleading to Derek or her own self-respect pleading out to her?”

In response, another user replies, “I can understand why the writers decided to use that line for Mer. But yea, this aged like milk.”

This post has caused quite a variety of opinions and comments from others. Some people still feel that it is romantic, while others feel that it made her appear weak to be begging him to choose her.

Did Meredith go too far with it?


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The episode where Meredith tells Derek to pick her came in season 2, episode 5. She was begging Derek to leave Addison (Kate Walsh) and get his divorce so that he could be with her. The problem is we wanted to see Meredith as a strong, empowered woman. And there she was begging a man to love her.  

Admittedly, being an intern, loving an older man who was married could cause Meredith to feel less powerful. She was hurting because the man she loved had put her into the middle of a love triangle when she felt that she was “done chasing boys.” Some fans feel that her standing up and saying, “Pick me” is her standing up for herself and telling Derek what she wants.

A lot of fans feel that Meredith as a character was much stronger when she told Derek, “I can live without you, but I don’t want to.”  This comment happened much later, in season 11, episode 17It is proof that as the seasons passed, Meredith did become a stronger character, and she was a lot less dependent on Derek. Meredith grew up from that young intern who was in love with a boy. She became a woman in love with a man. It all depends on how you look at it.