Paul Simon Loved Carrie Fisher With a ‘Desperation That Could Frighten Him,’ According To Biographer

Carrie Fisher and Paul Simon dated on and off for 12 years. Both the singer and the Star Wars actor used books to document their relationship. Fisher opened up about dating Simon in her 2008 memoir, Wishful Drinking

In 2016, author Peter Ames Carlin released a biography, Homeward Bound: The Life of Paul Simon. The book shared details about Simon and Fisher’s tumultuous relationship

Carrie Fisher and Paul Simon during Opening of "Gilda, Live from New York" - August 2, 1979 at Winter Garden Theatre in New York City, New York, United States.
Carrie Fisher and Paul Simon|Ron Galella/Ron Galella Collection

Carrie Fisher and Paul Simon ‘fought a lot’ 

Fisher and Simon met right before her career skyrocketed. Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher’s daughter started working on Star Wars: Episode IV- A New Hope, the popular franchise’s first movie, per Vanity Fair. Simon already found success with his folk music group, Simon & Garfunkel. Fisher wrote in Wishful Drinking that the pair shared an instant connection.

“Years ago, there were tribes that roamed the earth, and every tribe had a magic person,” she wrote. “Well, now, as you know, all the tribes have dispersed, but every so often you meet a magic person, and every so often, you meet someone from your tribe. Which is how I felt when I met Paul Simon.”

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Although they grew closer and more fond of each other, Carlin wrote that Simon and Fisher often bumped heads. Eventually, though, they would make up and laugh at each other as they were arguing. 

“They fought a lot,” Carlin wrote, adding that they would stop because they were “laughing too hard to snarl anymore.”

Paul Simon’s love for Carrie Fisher would ‘frighten him’ 

According to Carlin’s memoir, Simon and Fisher had more bad days than good during their relationship. After living together for six years, the couple parted ways in the early 1980s. Following their split, Fisher got engaged to Saturday Night Live actor Dan Akroyd. However, Fisher broke up with Akroyd and went back to Simon. The pair then married in 1983, after fearing they would be too sad without each other. 

“Carrie added velocity to [Paul’s] life, a kind of wild energy that often set him alight and sometimes made him scream,” Carlin wrote. 

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Throughout their relationship, Fisher also had substance abuse issues that would cause fights between her and Simon. The singer remained by her side due to his love for her, according to Carlin. 

“There had always been something perfect about them when they were getting along the way they huddled together, the way he grounded her, the way she could make him laugh so easily,” Carlin wrote. “And he loved her, with a desperation that could frighten him.”

Carrie Fisher and Paul Simon dated after they divorced

Soon, Fisher and Simon’s past issues hurt their marriage. After two years, the couple divorced. Although they were no longer legally married, Carlin wrote that the exes stayed in touch. Eventually, Fisher moved back in with Simon, and their relationship continued. 

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Several years after they got back together, Simon and Fisher visited a brujo (a spiritual healer) in the Amazon. While there, they drank a psychedelic tea that reportedly made Fisher rethink her relationship with Simon. According to Carlin, Fisher had a vision where she described “feeling pinned beneath Paul’s ever-spinning, ever-controlling brain; about the way he, like so many powerful men she knew, assumed his expertise and control over every situation.” Shortly after their trip, Fisher moved out, and the pair ended for good.