Princess Diana Once Compared Marrying Into the Royal Family to ‘Crucifying Herself’

Princess Diana and Prince Charles’ marriage showed cracks before they even walked down the aisle. In hindsight, the two knew they never should have been married, but Diana’s internal struggles were something she worked hard to keep unknown to the public.

Still, Diana disliked being a member of the royal family and once likened it to “crucifying herself.”

Princess Diana and Prince Charles
Princess Diana and Prince Charles | Georges De Keerle/Getty Images

Princess Diana wanted to call off her wedding before it happened

When Diana and Charles first met, he was dating her older sister, Sarah Spender. Diana recalled that he appeared to be a “sad man,” but she never thought the two would start a relationship. A few years later, Charles was looking for a wife, and Diana seemed like a strong potential suitor.

The two became engaged after 12 dates, and Diana recalled laughing when Charles first proposed. Though they both knew they weren’t in love, they went ahead with the engagement, and Diana later told biographer Andrew Morton that Charles didn’t contact her for nearly a month after they announced their engagement.

The night before the wedding, Diana wanted to call the whole thing off. She knew Charles was in love with Camilla, but when she told her sisters she didn’t want to go through with the marriage, they told her it was too late.

Princess Diana and Prince Charles at their wedding
Princess Diana and Prince Charles at their wedding | Anwar Hussein/Getty Images

RELATED: Princess Diana Once Revealed She ‘Can’t Remember’ Parts of Her Royal Life: ‘I’ve Blotted It Out, It Was Such Pain’

Diana once said she was ‘crucifying herself’ by joining the royal family

The princess felt uncomfortable in the royal family, and she revealed in her recordings to Morton that it took her about six years to finally feel comfortable in her royal skin. But between the constant spotlight and her struggling marriage, Diana had a hard time keeping herself happy among the royals.

Diana’s mental health declined, and she battled with depression and bulimia while married. She even once cut herself in front of Charles — and remarked that she was “crucifying herself” by being stuck in the royal family.

“The public side was very different from the private side,” Diana told Morton. “The public side, they wanted a fairy princess to come and touch them and everything will turn to gold … Little did they realize that the individual was crucifying herself inside.”

Diana also said Charles’ family treated her differently from any other royal family members. “I was treated … As though I was an oddball, and I felt I was an oddball.”

Princess Diana with her sons Prince William and Prince Harry
Princess Diana with her sons Prince William and Prince Harry | Anwar Hussein/Getty Images

Diana had a difficult relationship with Queen Elizabeth and the Queen Mother

Diana’s relationship with Charles was rocky, but her relationships with Queen Elizabeth and the Queen Mother weren’t much better. The princess revealed that the queen blamed Diana and Charles’ marriage troubles on Diana’s mental health, suggesting that her bulimia was the reason the two of them were so unhappy.

Diana also revealed that the queen mother disliked her because of Diana’s own grandmother. “My grandmother has done a good hatchet job on me,” Diana said of her relationship with her grandmother-in-law. Ultimately, Diana and Charles ended up divorced in 1995 after separating in 1992.