Princess Diana Once Revealed She ‘Can’t Remember’ Parts of Her Royal Life: ‘I’ve Blotted It Out, It Was Such Pain’

Princess Diana’s life as a royal wasn’t nearly as glamorous as the public once thought. It turns out Diana had a difficult time adapting to a married life with Prince Charles — one that was constantly in the spotlight and under scrutiny.

Diana once revealed that she even blacked out certain parts of her life — specifically, the time between the births of her first and second sons.

Princess Diana with Prince William and Prince Harry
Princess Diana with Prince William and Prince Harry | Antony Jones/Julian Parker/UK Press/Getty Images

Princess Diana struggled to adjust to the royal family

When Diana and Charles began dating, neither of them wanted to marry the other. Still, Charles was facing pressure to find a wife, and Diana was only a teenager who didn’t know any better about falling in love. Charles proposed after only 12 dates, and after a rushed wedding and honeymoon, Diana was in the throes of royal life without being ready. She even recalled the difficulty of the couple’s marriage only a few days after tying the knot. “I just had tremendous hope in me, which was slashed by day two,” Diana revealed to biographer Andrew Morton in her secret recordings.

Diana also recalled the difficulties she faced in terms of criticisms; her outfits, royal engagements, and more were constantly in question. Though the public felt she was relatable, the British tabloids weren’t as forgiving.

Princess Diana and Prince Charles
Princess Diana and Prince Charles | Jayne Fincher/Princess Diana Archive/Getty Images

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Princess Diana revealed that she ‘blotted’ out parts of her life

The struggle that started after her wedding seemingly never ended. Diana began to have difficulties with her mental health, and the royal family often encouraged her to take medication to help her depression, though she refused. Diana’s marriage with Charles was almost always on the rocks, and she was well aware that he would much rather be with Camilla Parker Bowles.

Diana revealed that the difficulties she faced caused her to black out part of her life from her own memory. Specifically, the two years between when she welcomed her first son, Prince William, and her second son, Prince Harry.

“… Between William and Harry being born, it was total darkness,” she revealed in her recordings. “I can’t remember much, I’ve blotted it out, it was such pain.” Diana did note, however, that she remembers the six weeks leading up to Harry’s birth, because she and Charles were closer than ever. She described the time as “the closest we’ve ever, ever been and ever will be.”

Princess Diana and Prince Charles with Prince Harry and Prince William
Princess Diana and Prince Charles with Prince Harry and Prince William | Jayne Fincher/Princess Diana Archive/Getty Images

Diana revealed that it took her six years to adapt to royalty

Diana’s time in the royal family didn’t come easily, and she certainly didn’t adapt quickly. When she and Charles first wed, she didn’t even want to attend royal engagements without him. “I didn’t want to do anything on my own,” she said. “I was too frightened.”

Between the criticism, the travel, and the general feeling of unpreparedness in joining the family, Diana said she didn’t adapt to royal life for quite some time. “I was just so frightened of the attention I was getting; it took me six years to get comfortable in this skin, and now I’m ready to go forward,” her recordings revealed.