While the holiday season is often associated with joy, it can sometimes come with complicated emotions for people who are grieving.
Maya Vander opened up earlier this month about having a stillborn son
On Dec. 10, Vander took to Instagram to share a photo of baby clothes. The real estate agent wrote in the description that she had just experienced a stillbirth at 38 weeks.
“Yesterday was the hardest day of my life,” she said. “I had a still birth at 38 weeks. I always heard of it but never imagined I’ll be part of the statistics. Instead of delivering a baby, I get to go home with a memory box… I do not wish this on anyone. What was a regular weekly checkup turned into a nightmare that I never imagine will happen to me.”
The Israeli native ended the post by writing, “You will always be in our heart baby Mason.”
She later told E! News that she and Dave decided to get an autopsy for Mason so that they could “have some answers.” However, the results could take “30 to 45 days.”
Maya Vander admits Christmas Eve was ‘not what I had envisioned’
A few weeks after her heartbreaking birth experience, Vander and her family are celebrating Christmas. However, the holiday season seems to be less joyful than she had previously imagined.
She recently shared a photograph of her family, which includes her husband, Dave, and two kids—Aiden (born 2019) and Elle (born 2020).
“This is not the Christmas Eve I had envisioned,” Vander wrote in the new Instagram post. “This was the day Mason would have come home with us. It’s been two weeks since I lost my child. I am smiling in the photo but I got to tell you, it’s been difficult. I never experienced grief this way.”
She continued, “Our family is taking it one day at a time and we are just trying our best for the kids. I am extremely grateful for all the kindness and messages I have been getting. We are thankful for our children and know that it will be ok.”
Vander included a holiday greeting for followers and urged people to remember that “after the storm comes the [rainbow].”
Maya Vander reveals her kids do not fully understand what happened
Vander and her husband are clearly very much affected by Mason’s death. However, their kids are still too young to fully grasp what happened.
Vander explained to E! News, “My daughter doesn’t understand because she’s like one-and-a-half. My son, he doesn’t fully understand. But when he sees my husband and I, when we cry, he tells us, ‘Don’t be said, mommy’ and it breaks my heart even more.”
She added, “He didn’t ask me, ‘Where is the baby?’ because I don’t think he understands. I think once they do understand, I would always tell them they had a brother. They will know the story.”
Vander also shared that she would like to have another baby in the future as it would be “a nice sweet experience at the end.”