‘Sex and the City’: 3 Times Aidan Shaw Was the Worst Boyfriend Ever

Sex and the City fans have been debating who the right man for Carrie Bradshaw was for years. Viewers seem to think Carrie belonged with their Aidan Shaw or Mr. Big. While both men had some good qualities, they also had some undesirable traits, too. In fact, Aidan had moments where he was a terrible partner to Carrie.

Aidan tried to push Carrie into marriage to make himself feel better

When Aidan proposed to Carrie on a quiet Manhattan street in the middle of the night, fans swooned. His lowkey proposal was sweet and to the point, and everyone assumed Carrie would be getting her happy ending. Within a couple of episodes, though, it became clear that Aidan’s proposal didn’t have particularly romantic motives, undertones of control and distrust doomed the union before a wedding date was even set.

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Aidan made it clear that he wanted Carrie to marry him because he “needed it.” Basically, he agreed to give his relationship with Carrie a second try, knowing that he would never really trust her. The marriage proposal wasn’t about wanting to spend the rest of his life with Carrie. It was about wanting to control her and make himself feel better. When you consider Aidan’s motives, the entire proposal was pretty icky.

Aidan was constantly trying to change Carrie

Aidan was a really traditional guy. There is nothing particularly wrong with that, but there was something seriously wrong with the fact that he tried to make Carrie a more conventional woman. Carrie was a “girl about town,” as she often put it, who enjoyed her time in Manhattan more than anything. That didn’t stop Aidan from trying to change her into someone who enjoyed the country and staying home.  

Sarah Jessica Parker and John Corbett as Carrie Bradshaw and Aidan Shaw
Aidan Shaw and Carrie Bradshaw in ‘Sex and the City’ | Paramount Pictures/Newsmakers

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Cosmopolitan notes that Carrie and Aidan’s relationship was supposed to be the polar opposite of Carrie and Mr. Big’s relationship. Aidan was, in theory, thought to be everything Mr. Big was not. Mr. Big might have been pretty difficult and aloof, but he never tried to turn Carrie into something she wasn’t. Aidan tried to change Carrie from their very first date when he freaked out about her smoking habit.

Aidan was passive-aggressive

Aidan wasn’t just trying to change Carrie through suggestion and ultimatums. He was passive-aggressive, too. When Carrie and Aidan got back together after she cheated on him, they appeared to fall into a solid rhythm pretty quickly. Fans largely assumed Aidan hade moved past the cheating incident. He clear did not, because the moment Mr. Big’s voice was heard over Carrie’s answering machine, Aidan turned into a master manipulator.

RELATED: ‘Sex and the City’: Was Mr. Big Inspired by a Real Person?

Instead of expressing his concerns about Mr. Big, Aidan decided to yell at Carrie for something innocuous, act cold and distant, and finally, flirt with another woman to make Carrie jealous. Sure, Aidan had every right to be upset and uncomfortable about Mr. Big’s presence in Carrie’s life, but the way he showed it was incredibly unhealthy. Proper communication could have saved both Carrie and Aidan a lot of trouble.