‘Sex and the City’: 3 Times Mr. Big Was the Absolute Worst Boyfriend Ever

Most Sex and the City fans were happy to see Carrie Bradshaw end up with Mr. Big. Their relationship, which experienced several ups and downs during the series, seemed to be neatly tied up at the very end of the show’s finale. While Mr. Big and Carrie were relationship goals for some fans, it’s hard to ignore some of Mr. Big’s worst qualities. In fact, there were a lot of moments that the charming financier was an absolutely awful boyfriend.

Mr. Big didn’t respect Carrie’s other romantic relationships  

Even after marrying another woman, Mr. Big couldn’t let Carrie go. When it was clear his marriage wasn’t working out, he went looking for Carrie, and he certainly found her. Carrie was already entrenched in a relationship with Aidan Shaw at the time, but Mr. Big obviously didn’t care. Instead of realizing the pain he was going to cause all around, he continued to pursue his former girlfriend. Yes, it took both Mr. Big and Carrie to engage in the affair, but he should have just let sleeping dogs lie.

Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big appear in 'Sex and the City'
Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big appear in ‘Sex and the City’ | L Rothenberg/FilmMagic

If Mr. Big had just disrespected Carrie’s relationship once, fans could probably let it go, but he showed up time and time again to destroy romances that seemed to be working fine without his interference. He popped up at Aidan’s country home, knowing full well it would cause problems between his ex-girlfriend and her new man. He also interfered when Carrie was dating Aleksandr Piotrowski. While the well-known artist was also a terrible boyfriend, Big’s interference proved that he didn’t respect Carrie or her choices at all.

Mr. Big didn’t take Carrie’s feeling in to account pretty much ever

They say that no two relationships are the same. That’s true, but every relationship requires communication and compromise to work. Mr. Big had very little compassion and spent very little time thinking about how Carrie would feel in any given situation. Screen Rant argues that Mr. Big had absolutely no emotional intelligence, but that wasn’t his only problem. Simply put, Mr. Big never bothered to consider Carrie as an individual person, at all.

Carrie Bradshaw confronts Mr. Big in 'Sex and the City: The Movie'
Carrie Bradshaw confronts Mr. Big | Richard Corkery/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images

When Mr. Big decided he needed to move to Paris for work, he mentioned it to Carrie as an afterthought. When he decided to leave New York, he had no plans to tell his friend and former girlfriend. The same theme carried through into the latter part of their relationship, too. While Carrie planned their wedding, Mr. Big was more concerned with how a large wedding would make him look, considering that he had been married twice before, than what Carrie may have wanted for the big moment. After all, it was Carrie’s first time down the aisle. Even in her worst moments, Carrie still considered Mr. Big.

Mr. Big only seemed to want Carrie when he couldn’t have her

After their initial relationship, Mr. Big showed up to ruin things for Carrie every so often. It would seem that, in most cases, Mr. Big only wanted Carrie if he had to chase her. Think about it. He pursued her when she was with Aidan. Once that relationship ended, he couldn’t be bothered with her. In season 4, he tried to block her flirtation with another man and only seemed to want to maintain a friendship when he knew it would mess things up for Carrie. He showed up on her doorstep when she was dating Aleksandr Piotrowski, too.

Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big appear in season 2 of 'Sex and the City'
Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big | Getty Images

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Considering his track record, one has to wonder if Mr. Big loved Carrie or if he loved the idea of having to chase her. Once he “got” her, he was distant and withheld all emotions from her. The thrill of the chase might have been exciting for Mr. Big and for fans, but it must have been excruciating for Carrie, who, quite frankly, was obsessed with Mr. Big.