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Carrie Bradshaw had a lot of great qualities. Carrie, her band of friends, and their string of lovers is what drew fans to Sex and the City in the first place. Carrie, however, was a deeply flawed character. If you look at her actions, over the course of six seasons carefully, you will notice that Carrie was actually pretty selfish and self-serving.

Carrie had a hard time understanding the reality of situations

Despite all of her practical knowledge of dating in Manhattan, Carrie had almost no understanding of the reality of any given situation. When Carrie ran into Natasha, after effectively destroying the woman’s marriage, she couldn’t fathom why Natasha hated her so much. Sure, technically, Natasha should have been angrier with Mr. Big, and presumably, she was pretty ticked off at him, too, but she had every right to despise Carrie.

Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw and John Corbett as Aidan Shaw
Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw and John Corbett as Aidan Shaw | Paramount Pictures/Newsmakers

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Carrie also had a difficult time wrapping her head around the reason why Aidan Shaw might not want to jump right back in and start dating her again. Back in Season 4, Carrie tried to rekindle her relationship with Aidan after she cheated on him by way of a “grand gesture.” Frankly, the gesture wasn’t even that grand. When Aidan initially rebuffed her advances, she seemed downright shocked.

Carrie acted as though she was consistently victimized, when, really her behavior was awful

Carrie wasn’t afraid to play the victim when she thought it was warranted. There is nothing wrong with expressing yourself when you believe a situation is unfair. That’s not what Carrie did, though. Carrie had a hard time ever seeing how she may have played a part in her own problems.

Kristin Davis as Charlotte York and Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw
Kristin Davis as Charlotte York and Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw | Tom Kingston/WireImage

For example, Carrie freaked out when Mr. Big move to Paris without telling her. Yes, what Mr. Big did was pretty awful, but Carrie was aware of his serious commitment issues. What he did was incredibly insensitive, but Carrie never really stepped back to examine how she played a part in how that relationship turned out. Sure, Carrie had some pretty bad boyfriends, but there were moments where she wasn’t that great of a girlfriend, either.

She also unraveled when Aidan served her with papers regarding the apartment he purchased. Frankly, Aidan was an awfully nice guy about the entire situation. She ended their engagement, and he still gave her the option to repurchase her apartment, at the same price he paid for it. Instead of seeing the offer as a final act of generosity from Aidan, she saw it as a personal attack, then she became angry the second Charlotte didn’t offer to loan her the money she needed for her down payment.

Overall, Carrie was pretty selfish

Carrie, in general, was a pretty selfish person. She never really stopped to think about how other people felt, and she really couldn’t seem to empathize with other people. She pushed Mr. Big for a big commitment he had no interest in. She carried on an affair; then she couldn’t understand why Aidan didn’t want her to be friends with the man she cheated on him with. She was also entirely insensitive to a recovering alcoholic.

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Her friends didn’t fare much better. She didn’t show up to help Miranda when she called her, and then, when Miranda was rightfully angry, she showed up to her apartment, sans cream cheese, to complain about her problems. She wasn’t just selfish when it came to friends and lovers, either. She left a group of fans waiting at a café because she thought spending time with, perhaps, her worst boyfriend of the entire series was more important.