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Although Sex and the City is a series about friendship, many have pointed out how strange it is that we never hear much about the characters‘ immediate families. It’s unusual for a TV show to push such integral parts of the main characters’ lives aside, yet Sex and the City manages to do it with finesse. But was this a deliberate move from the writers? And why did they choose to push away the four main characters’ family lives?

Cast members of the television series Sex and the City: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon and Kim Cattrall, Beverly Hills, California
Cast members of the television series Sex and the City: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon and Kim Cattrall, Beverly Hills, California | Munawar Hosain/Getty Images

The main focus of the series is the love between the ‘Sex and the City’ women

According to the producer of the series, Darren Star, the whole point of the show is to emphasize the unconditional love between best friends. As Charlotte says to Miranda, Samantha, and Carrie, “Maybe we can be each other’s soulmates. And then we can let men be just these great, nice guys to have fun with.”

Because of the strong emphasis on their friendship, Star and series director Michael Patrick King wanted the central love story on the show to be between the four main characters.

Why we never see the family members of the ‘Sex and the City’ characters

According to the book titled Sex and the City and Us, the writers behind the show deliberately chose not to focus on their families.

“The vision of singlehood also emphasized the idea of friends as true family, especially for urbanites in their thirties,” the book reports. “This take on family happened partly by mistake, at least at first. In the second-season episode ‘Shortcomings,’ Samantha sleeps with Charlotte’s visiting brother, Wesley. But the producers struggled with casting Wesley, feeling he was far more important than a typical suitor of the week. No one could agree on what Charlotte’s brother should be like. After that, writer Amy B. Harris says, they knew: ‘We have to be really judicious about using their families.’”

“They were so judicious, in fact, that family members were rarely depicted again,” the book claims. “And when they did show up, they stayed in the background. This went even for weddings and other major events, which were more likely to feature the male partner’s family members than the main female characters’. Over time, this effect became deliberate, highlighting the fact that the women were each other’s true family.”

‘The Carrie Diaries’ screws up Carrie Bradshaw’s backstory

Actress AnnaSophia Robb is seen on the set of 'The Carrie Diaries'
Actress AnnaSophia Robb is seen on the set of ‘The Carrie Diaries’ | Raymond Hall/FilmMagic
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‘Sex and the City’: Why Sarah Jessica Parker Was Extremely Hesitant About Playing Carrie Bradshaw

Back in 2013, Annasophia Robb portrayed the teenaged Carrie Bradshaw in the Sex and the City prequel, The Carrie Diaries. The prequel gives us an origin story on the character’s roots, yet it ends up screwing up the details that Carrie offers on Sex and the City about her family life.

In The Carrie Diaries, the young Carrie lives alone with her father after her mother dies unexpectedly. But on Sex and the City, Carrie gives us a glimpse into her childhood, saying her father abandoned her and her mother when she was five years old.

Which one is it, folks? Was her father around or not?

Regardless, according to the show runners on Sex and the City, it doesn’t matter all that much.

Why?

Because her true family is with Charlotte, Samantha, and Miranda.