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Tami Roman reflected on the shocking conversation where two cast members from MTV‘s The Real World Homecoming: Los Angeles used the N-word and another cast member said kids in his youth ministry were “Black colored.

Roman said she hadn’t seen the cast members in decades. Plus she had only spent a handful of months with them on The Real World in 1993. But she didn’t suspect their remarks came from a place of aggression or malice.

“I lived in a house with them for five months in 1993, and I have seen them in 27 years,” she said. “Their whole mindset could have changed. I don’t know what people do in everyday life, OK?” She added, “I think, I feel strongly that they’re not racist.”

Jon Brennan used ‘historically racial and prejudice terminology’

Roman first addressed Jon Brennan’s comment when he referred to some of the kids in his youth ministry as “Black-colored.” She had to correct him. And remind Brennan no one ever says that.

Tami Roman from The Real World Homecoming: Los Angeles stopped for photos at the 2018 Soul Train Awards
Tami Roman from The Real World Homecoming: Los Angeles stopped for photos at the 2018 Soul Train Awards | Leon Bennett/Getty Images for BET

“And the fact that you’re still using such a historically racial and prejudice terminology,” she shared on Bonnet Chronicles YouTube channel. “I ain’t saying that you are racist. But what I am saying is that there’s racial undertones in the verbiage that you are choosing to use. And the reason why I was disappointed is because all through this time we’ve been in this house you’re talking about how you were a youth pastor. Let’s all live and love. And I love you every two seconds to everybody.”

She added, “You’re a youth pastor, and so you have to be able to minister to all walks of life and every demographic and race that’s out there.”

Tami Roman said the conversation with Glen Naessens went on a long time

In his effort to show solidarity, Glen Naessens said he did not see color and told a story about going out for pizza with a friend who was called a n*****. He punctuated the story by saying he too was called the N-word.

“But that conversation between me and Glen, you all saw a minute of it,” she revealed. “That conversation went on for about 10 minutes of me going back and forth with him. Telling him not to say [the N-word] in my presence. And the way it was cut, it looked like I just blew up at him and said, that shouldn’t come out your white a** mouth. That was after 10 minutes of going back and forth and I couldn’t hold it in no more because everything else that was going on, I wanted to explode.”

“But I did not want to be belligerent,” she added. “And I want it to be as clear and calm as I could be so that everybody could understand where it was coming from. It was unfortunate that I had to stand for 10 minutes arguing with somebody as a Black woman about what not to say in my presence. And ‘Hey, you shouldn’t use it,’ period. And he couldn’t get it. He couldn’t grasp it.”

Beth Anthony finally got through to Glen Naessens

Roman acknowledged that it was Beth Anthony who finally got through to Naessens. “He didn’t get it when Tami Roman was saying it. But the minute Beth A. opened up her mouth all of a sudden it is crystal clear,” she reflected.

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“White solidarity, OK?” Roman said. “When they comfort each other to make themselves feel comfortable to where they feel that, OK, she’s like me. I can listen. I’m going to do my best to understand because you’re one of me. You’re like me. All of a sudden it became clear.”

“And all I want to get out in this message here is if you have not experienced the sufferance from the words or the actions that you are choosing to make, then you shouldn’t f****** use them or do them,” she remarked. “And for me, as a Black woman in 2021, knowing that my ancestors were beat. Limbs, cut off backs whipped, picking cotton from sunup to sundown, eating scraps, and being called a n*****. That’s a problem for me.”