‘The Bachelor’: Matt James’ Conversation With [SPOILER] During the Finale ‘Screwed Him Up’

Last night, Matt James’ season of The Bachelor came to a shocking conclusion. After dating 30-some women, Matt was left with Rachael Kirkconnell and Michelle Young. But after a tough conversation during The Bachelor finale episode, Matt made a unique decision. Showbiz Cheat Sheet spoke with relationship expert Rori Sassoon about the one conversation that ultimately changed everything for Matt.

[SPOILER ALERT: Spoilers ahead for The Bachelor Season 25 finale.] 

Matt James in the finale of 'The Bachelor'
Matt James | Craig Sjodin via Getty Images

Matt James and his dad Manny made a breakthrough during ‘Fantasy Suites’ week

Throughout season 25, Matt has been open about not wanting his relationship to fail like his parent’s did. During a conversation with his dad in the “Fantasy Suites” episode, it seemed like the two made a breakthrough. Matt expressed the pain his dad caused and how it impacted him in forming relationships of his own. But now, it seems like Matt has taken two steps forward and one step back. 

“Love is not going to carry you through a marriage or an engagement,” Matt told cameras in the finale episode. “It takes me back to a very dark place. I think about my dad not being ready. And I think about how that hurt my mom and destroyed my family.” 

Matt James’ mom told him ‘people fall in and out of love’ before he was supposed to propose 

During The Bachelor finale, Matt’s mother and brother had the opportunity to meet Young and Kirkconnell. And while Matt’s family thought he had a connection with both women, his mom made a comment that sent him spiraling. 

“I know you don’t take love lightly,” Patty told her son during the finale, adding:

I know they both love you, but feelings come and go. To tell somebody you love them is big, because that opens their hearts up. There’s nothing like being in love, but people fall in and out of love and love is not the end-all-be-all.

Patty said she was “speaking from experience.” Matt’s brother, John, also made similar comments. “Don’t feel like you have to jump into a situation where you feel like you’re not ready,” John said.  

Patty James’ conversation with Matt James during ‘The Bachelor’ finale ‘screwed him up’ 

Sassoon is the owner of Platinum Poire, a power couple matching service. She has also advised women from The Real Housewives franchise about their relationships. Now, the dating expert is lending her expertise to Showbiz regarding James’ season of The Bachelor. Speaking to the dating expert after the finale, Sassoon dissected the impact Patty’s comments had on her son. 

“I think it’s a little bit of a shame,” Sassoon started. “I understand, but it just goes to show you how impressionable people are when it comes to their parents and what their parents went through.”

Matt has been open about his mother and father’s relationship and how he doesn’t want to “end up like them.” When Patty commented about love being this fleeting thing, it ultimately broke Matt. 

RELATED: ‘The Bachelor’: Why Did Matt James’ Dad Leave His Family?

“Once his mother came into play and [said] ‘You know there’s more than just love, right?’ — I think it screwed him up,” Sassoon continued. “I think that [conversation] was something that started to paralyze him.” While Sassoon understood the kind of panic Matt seemed to be in, she wishes he understood that he’s not living a “carbon copy lifestyle” of his parents. 

“He’s not his father [and] these girls are not his mother,” Sassoon concluded. But, as seen in the finale, Matt ultimately decided not to propose to Kirkconnell