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Controversial contestant Victoria Fuller had one of the more dramatic relationships with bachelor Peter Weber (to put it lightly). It seemed every time the two got together Victoria F. would become defensive and walk away.

Victoria F. and Peter Weber | Francisco Roman via Getty Images
Victoria F. and Peter Weber | Francisco Roman via Getty Images

During Weber’s “Women Tell All,” she reflected on the season and says, if she could go back, she’d do it all differently.

Victoria F. at ‘Women Tell All’

“I think I’m frustrated with myself because I didn’t realize how much he cared about me. I wish I would have let him love me the way he wanted to sooner. I think it would have been a lot different. But can’t go back,” she told host Chris Harrison while in the hot seat.

Victoria F. told Harrison she realizes now she wouldn’t “get out of [her] own way.”

“I just didn’t know. And he would keep telling me. He would reassure me with little things here and there. Like, he would write me a little letter or something, you know, just to show me that he cared. But I just had no idea to what extent,” she said.

“Why couldn’t you let him in?” asked the host.

“I think Peter was the one good thing that I actually got to have and I had like a glimpse of that. And I was like, ‘Wait, there’s no way that he’s this good.’ And it was easier for me to push him away because it was easier to just not have him at all than to lose him at the end of it,” she explained.

She told the host that she was “absolutely” “in love with that boy.”

“It has been the biggest learning experience for me. I can’t change the past. I can only move forward. I hate some of the ways that I acted. He put up with a lot. It’s hard because I think that, at the end of this, I’m, like, going through a breakup. And I get it. It’s just hard. All of it’s hard,” she said.

Chris Harrison asks Victoria F. if she’s ‘broken up marriages’

Of course, Harrison brought up the accusation that Victoria F. had slept with her friends’ husbands.

“That was extremely frustrating to me. I think that this is somebody who just didn’t like me and she wanted to… I don’t really know why she did it. I just think maybe she wanted to come on the show,” Victoria F. said of Merissa Pence.

“So, to be clear, have you broken up marriages?” asked Harrison.

“Absolutely not. And I think it’s just hard, you know, to have this guy that I’m dating, who could potentially be my husband, now think that about me. And once that’s out there, people think that about you. I definitely could have handled it better, obviously. I could have handled the whole [expletive] season better. Can’t go back in time,” she responded.

While Harrison went surprisingly easy on the controversial contestants and she got an incredibly kind edit complete with sympathetic audience reaction shots, much of Bachelor Nation doesn’t believe Victoria F. when she says, “Absolutely not.” It is easy to believe, though, that she self-sabotaged her relationship with Weber.

Read more: ‘The Bachelor’: Tammy Ly Explains Why She Tries Not to Get Emotional–’I Drown Myself in Work to Avoid [Emotions]’