‘The Bachelorette’: The Real Reason Contestants Look so Stressed During Rose Ceremonies Has Nothing to Do With Katie Thurston

If you’ve watched an episode of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, then you know two things to be true. 1. There will be tears and 2. The rose ceremonies are intense. Even if it seems absolutely clear who a lead like Katie Thurston wants to choose during a rose ceremony, somehow the dolling out of the roses still seems to be the most stressful part of the episodes. So, what is really going on behind the scenes that makes every rose ceremony so tense?

Katie Thurston, star of 'The Bachelorette' Season 17, holding a rose
Katie Thurston | ABC via Getty Images

What’s going on during rose ceremonies on ‘The Bachelorette’?

During the rose ceremonies, the cameras always manage to pan to several contestants who look like they are either going to throw up or run away. According to former Bachelorette Desiree Hartsock, the tense looks on everyone’s faces have more to do with the conditions of the ceremonies than love for the lead.

“They’re very, very long. By that point most people are, like, 10 drinks in. You are just tired,” Hartsock told Us Weekly, revealing that the ceremonies are actually “way worse” than what we see on tv. “You are exhausted. They pause so long after each rose to pan one people’s faces, so yeah, they are going to get you looking super stressed out, but you are really tired.”

She continued, saying that the stress of the ceremonies has less to do with the competition and “more so you’re just so tired.”

Producers help leads remember

Not only does production pause after each rose, but the producers also help leads like Thurston remember the names of the people she wants to choose.

“Everyone, including [the] cameraman, [has] a card with photos of the people with their names on it,” Hartsock told the outlet. “It was almost, like, a game for myself to see how many I could remember. I think the most I remembered was six at a time. You grab as many names as you remember and then you go out.”

Producers have control during the rose ceremonies on ‘The Bachelorette’

On top of how tired a lead might be, they don’t have full control over who stays and who goes during the ceremonies.

“I got into a full-on screaming fight with my producer, saying, ‘I’m not giving him a rose! This is too cheesy, this is not happening!’ And she was like, ‘You have to give him a chance.’ I’m like, ‘I’m not going to give him a chance,’ and I walked off the show,” former Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky once told Entertainment Tonight of not being able to decide who went home. “I said, ‘I’m done, I quit, I’m not going to be the Bachelorette anymore.’” 

Advice for rose ceremonies

During the season, leads can get overwhelmed with all of the feelings they are having. In order to make the best decisions, Fedotowsky thinks that Thurston should keep her options open.

“I give the same advice to every Bachelor or Bachelorette. If they ask for it, I always say the same thing. I say, ‘Figure out who you like right away, like, day one and ignore them,’” Fedotowsky told Us Weekly. “And you need someone in the moment telling you that so it’s probably good if Tayshia (Adams) and Kaitlyn (Bristowe) were there, hopefully, to give her this advice in the moment. But, like, ignore them because they’re going to be there two or three [weeks] later.”

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