These 7 One-Liners From ‘Below Decks’ Captain Lee Rosbach Are Everything

Captain Lee Rosbach | Captain Lee Rosbach Instagram

Captain Lee Rosbach from Below Deck is known for running a tight ship while using some pretty colorful terminology and one-liners at the same time. Rosbach has been the captain on all six seasons of the series and Bravo created a compilation of the best Rosbach-isms ever.

Rosbach is not one to mince words when it comes to his feelings. He says his patience level is often transparent, which is why his crew often knows its time to straighten up or figure out which member is getting the dreaded plane ticket home.

From his philosophy on life to his reactions to crew screw-ups, Rosbach throws down some doozies. While they are all hilarious, here are seven best of the best.

Philosophy on life

Rosbach has seen it all so he has plenty of wisdom to share with his young crew.

1. “Life is like a sh*t sandwich. The more bread you have, the more sh*t you have to eat.” Rosbach used this metaphor when describing the crew drama he dealt with during the current charter season.

2. “We’ve gone through more deckhands than a condom salesman in a whorehouse.” Bosun Chandler Brooks’ firing wasn’t the first time Rosbach had to let someone go on the deck team. He cycled through a few deckhands in season two, three and four. He also had to bring in an extra set of hands to assist bosun Nico Scholly in season five.

Crew mishaps and mess-ups

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Def out of my comfort zone.

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A big part of Below Deck is showing when the crew doesn’t always get it right. From yacht fender benders to not always meeting the guests’ needs, Rosbach lets the crew know how he feels.

3. “You can drive a straight pin up my ass with a 10-pound sledgehammer.” As Rosbach says, his patience is transparent.

4. “We screwed the pooch so many times we should have a litter of puppies running around.” This is a Rosbach favorite. As he’s used it with his own crew, but also tweeted it about a previous episode of Below Deck Med, Bravo’s The Daily Dish reports.

5. “Those are the options? They need to bring TV Guide back.” Come to Rosbach with solutions, not hurdles.

Don’t annoy him

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Kickin it on the beach

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From second stew Kat Held sneaking off the boat to go drinking (when she was told not to) to completely disregarding orders, Rosbach has some pointed language to let the crew know he’s not happy.

6. “I’m madder than a pissed on chicken.” This one is typically delivered when Rosbach has literally had more than enough nonsense.

7.” I would rather drag my dick through 10 miles of whiskey bottles.” Rosbach has delivered this one a few times. An “extended” version in a side interview. And another version to Chef Ben Robinson. Of course, this comment produced one of Robinson’s trademark giggles.

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