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During season 3 of This Is Us, fans rejoiced when Toby (Chris Sullivan) and Kate (Chrissy Metz) finally conceived. We’re not sure why we thought it would be all sunshine and rainbows, but it’s not. Kate went into labor early, and the baby—who she named Jack, after her father—is blind.

Since the baby’s birth, things have not been going well for Toby and Kate’s relationship. Early on in season 4 of This Is Usfans were hating on Kate, but now the tables have turned. Fans were mad at Kate’s reaction to Toby’s weight loss, but now they feel he has taken it too far. 

Chris Sullivan as Toby
Chris Sullivan as Toby | Ron Batzdorff/NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal via Getty Images via Getty Images

Fans feel that Toby ‘swapped addictions’

When we first met Toby, back in season 1 of This Is Us, he was addicted to food. He went to group therapy sessions to talk about his negative relationships with food. Now that he has overcome his addiction with food, fans believe he replaced it with something else.

“TOBY SWAPPED ADDICTIONS,” exclaimed one Reddit user. “He swapped food for CrossFit, and he is acting like an addict. He’s ALWAYS going to the gym. Social Media is an addiction. The CrossFit text is part of the addiction. You do get a dopamine hit with social media, and that would replace the food dopamine hits he doesn’t get anymore.”

“I was listening to a management speech that was really interesting,” added another fan. “It talked about how ‘likes’ and comments trigger dopamine release in our brains, and it can literally become something addictive.”

“Toby was on a plane with his wife and their infant, and he was posting and connecting to his CrossFit group and Instagram instead of his family,” the Redditor concluded.

Fans believe Toby is taking his weight loss journey over the top. He is completely absorbed in his need to go to the gym and talk to his CrossFit friends that he doesn’t see the way he is hurting Kate.

Fans are appalled that Toby wanted Kate to wait for him to go to the gym to feed baby Jack

Other fans add to the addiction revelation that Toby is not home very often with his wife and new baby. They are outraged that he wants to see all of the ‘firsts’ but doesn’t make an effort to stay home for them.

In a recent episode, Toby asked Kate to wait to feed Jack’s solid foods. However, Kate’s neighbor unexpectedly gave Jack avocado. Toby is upset when he finds out after the fact that he was not the one to feed him first.

“Maybe I’m missing something, but Kate is in the house all day with baby Jack and Toby goes out to work,” described one fan. “And goes to cross fit, has lost weight, and has new friends! And Toby is getting mad he is missing jacks firsts?? He doesn’t seem to be home too much! He’s out having more of a life than she is, so I can see how she can be upset with him.”

“From a new mom with a kid who isn’t special needs,” wrote another Redditor, “I would be pissed if my husband started spending so much time working out and asking me to wait to feed my kid so he could be there. No, you need to make more time and be more present with your family, and sometimes that means not getting to go work out every day. I’m not saying he shouldn’t have time to work out, but it seems his is on the excessive side.” 

Toby brings special food to Thanksgiving dinner

Fans are also upset that Toby insists on bringing his own food to Thanksgiving dinner at Randall (Sterling K. Brown) and Beth’s (Susan Kelechi Watson) home. He breaks out his snacks and begins telling everyone about what he’s eating. 

“Also, as he sat on the couch, snapping his fingers saying ‘you follow this plan, you lose 5 lbs like that snaps fingers,'” added another fan. “Kate was just looking on, and I think it added to her self esteem issues. I know it would for me if someone was talking like that. Like when does she have time for herself?”

Not only is Toby losing the weight that Kate wanted to lose with him and surrounding himself with a new group of friends, but he’s even bragging about it to her family. The Toby we knew and loved has taken a turn for the worst. Hopefully, he will redeem himself when This Is Us returns from fall break on January 14, 2020.