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Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have been through trials and triumphs since tying the knot back in 1997. Though the two have always come out on top, there were times when things were more challenging than they would have liked — and they recall the moment that started it all as one of the worst moments in their relationship.

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith | Marc Susset-Lacroix/WireImage

Jada Pinkett does not believe in marriage

When Pinkett was growing up, she never desired to be married. Though she and Smith fell in love quickly after they began dating in 1995, it was never on Pinkett’s mind to tie the knot. “I knew that I was not built for conventional marriage,” Pinkett told The Guardian in 2019. “Even the word ‘wife’: it’s a golden cage, swallow the key. Even before I was married, I was like, ‘That’ll kill me,’” she said.

Pinkett and Smith have gone through their share of hard times since marrying in 1997. The two even separated for a while after Pinkett’s 40th birthday back in 2011. Still, everything worked out, and now, Pinkett has been sharing her marriage struggles publicly. “… Why wouldn’t you share what you’ve been through, when you see that other people are out there, trying to figure this crap out?” she said. “We decided to make it public because it’s part of the healing.”

Will and Jada Smith with Trey, Jaden, and Willow Smith
Will and Jada Smith with Trey, Jaden, and Willow Smith | Jim Spellman/WireImage

Pinkett’s mother described her daughter’s wedding as ‘a mess’

Pinkett and Smith knew they were in love when they wed in the 1990s, but their wedding night certainly didn’t start their marriage off on a high note. Pinkett became pregnant with Smith’s child about two years after they began dating, and pressure from her mother convinced her to walk down the aisle, though she never wanted to.

“It was a mess,” Pinkett’s mother, Adrienne Banfield-Jones said on an episode of “Red Table Talk” back in 2018. “Jada was sick; she was very unpleasant.” Pinkett called her mother out on putting pressure on her and Smith to tie the knot when they didn’t want to be married. They referred to the night as “horrible.” Pinkett later told People that she never wanted to walk down the aisle. “… My mother was like, ‘You have to get married’ — she’s so old school — and Will wanted a family. So I said, ‘All right, maybe it’s something I should do.’”

Jada Pinkett Smith with her mother and daughter.
Jada Pinkett Smith with her mother and daughter. The three women host ‘Red Table Talk’ together. | Bennett Raglin/BET/Getty Images for BET
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Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith No Longer Call Themselves ‘Husband and Wife’

The couple refused to divorce, despite a separation  

Their marriage didn’t start off on a high note, and though the two have worked things out, they did spend some time apart starting around 2011. Pinkett realized upon turning 40 that she wasn’t entirely happy with the way her marriage was turning out; she said she wanted to do more for herself, and it led the two to separate. In the meantime, Pinkett had an affair with musician August Alsina.

Pinkett and Smith never wanted to divorce; Smith does not believe in divorce. The two worked through their problems and have since become much stronger. These days, they’re in a good place, though they no longer refer to themselves as husband and wife; they look at each other as “life partners” instead.