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Jonathan Van Ness and Mark Peacock have been married for more than five years. Not all of those years have been entirely monogamous, though. Van Ness, best known for his work on Queer Eye, and Peacock met back in 2019 and tied the knot a year later. Jonathan Van Ness’ marriage, however, is a little unconventional. The TV personality recently explained that his marriage, with “seasons of non-monogamy,” is different from a polyamorous partnership.

Jonathan Van Ness and Mark Peacock have had ‘periods of non-monogamy’

Not all relationships are structured the same. In the end, each couple has to decide what works best for them, and Jonathan Van Ness is confident that he and his husband, Mark Peacock, have found the relationship structure that makes the most sense for their life together. Van Ness has never shied away from talking about the non-monogamous side of his partnership. He’s mentioned it multiple times, but he recently explained how he and Peacock navigate their marriage.

During an appearance on the Mitch Churi Chat Show, Jonathan Van Ness got honest about his unconventional marriage. He explained that while he and Peacock enjoy periods of non-monogamy, they have approached bringing additional partners into their dynamic with care and thoughtfulness. Van Ness said he knows polyamory is not for him. Because of that, he and Peacock both have the option of “closing the door” on non-monogamy when the situation calls for it. Van Ness was very careful to note that he and Peacock are not polyamorous. Rather, they practice a form of non-monogamy.  Some people might define it as “monogamish.”

What is the difference between non-monogamy and polyamory?

While critics are confused as to why Jonathan Van Ness felt the need to differentiate between non-monogamy and polyamory, the explanation was needed. The two relationship structures are not the same, though they are often used interchangeably on social media.

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Non-monogamy is a term for any relationship structure in which two partners are not sexually exclusive to each other, though how that is achieved may vary across relationships. In most cases, non-monogamy is focused almost exclusively on sexual experiences outside of the core, commited relationship. For example, swingers and people in open relationships may define their relationship as non-monogamous.

Polyamory, on the other hand, is a specific relationship structure in which individuals in a relationship have multiple, loving and emotionally commited relationships at once.  People in a throuple or a triad, for example, are considered polyamorous. In such a relationship structures three people date each other. A V-structured polyamorous relationship involves one person committing to two or more partners, though those partners are not romantically linked. Polygamy, for example, is such a structure.