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After The Beatles broke up, John Lennon made his dissatisfaction with the band clear. He rolled his eyes at the music they made as a group and insulted his former bandmates’ solo efforts. Despite all that he shared with the press, Lennon’s actions told a different story. Here are three times he showed that he didn’t hate the band as much as he said he did.

A black and white picture of Paul McCartney, John Lennon, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr wearing matching outfits and holding up their hands.
The Beatles | Keystone Features/Hulton Archive/Getty Images

John Lennon apologized to Paul McCartney for leaving The Beatles

In 1969, Lennon told his bandmates that he wanted a divorce from The Beatles. Before this, he included a reference to Paul McCartney in the 1968 song “Glass Onion.”

“I threw the line in — ‘the Walrus was Paul’ — just to confuse everybody a bit more,” he said in the book All We Are Saying: The Last Major Interview With John Lennon and Yoko Ono by David Sheff. “And I thought Walrus has now become me, meaning ‘I am the one.’ Only it didn’t mean that in this song … It could have been ‘the fox terrier is Paul,’ you know. I mean, it’s just a bit of poetry.

While it was meant to confuse, Lennon admitted that it also functioned as an apology to McCartney.

“The line was put in partly because I was feeling guilty because I was with Yoko and I was leaving Paul,” he said. “I was trying — I don’t know. It’s a very perverse way of saying to Paul, you know, ‘Here, have this crumb, this illusion, this — this stroke, because I’m leaving.'”

He was so excited to record a song with Paul McCartney that he couldn’t wait for his bandmates

Lennon returned from his honeymoon with Yoko Ono eager to get into the studio with McCartney. They recorded the song in 1969, the same year Lennon announced he wanted to leave the band. He was so excited to record that he couldn’t wait for Ringo Starr and George Harrison. He and McCartney recorded the song as a duo.

“John was on heat, so to speak,” McCartney said, per The Beatles Encyclopedia by Kenneth Womack. “He needed to record it so we just ran in and did it.”

The song was about Lennon’s relationship with Ono, but it also included a playful nod to the early days of The Beatles. At the beginning of the song, Lennon said, “A bit faster, Ringo,” and McCartney responded, “OK, George!” Per Rolling Stone, this was a nod to “The Honeymoon Song,” something they used to play at the Cavern Club in their pre-fame days. 

Lennon could easily have recorded the song with Ono, as they were working together artistically. Also, if he had been as fed up with the band as history has made it seem, he wouldn’t have made the humorous, nostalgic nod to the band’s past.

John Lennon wept after watching a documentary about The Beatles

After The Beatles broke up, the documentary Let It Be hit theaters. While it documents a period before their split, many regard it as The Beatles’ break-up film. Lennon saw it with Ono, Rolling Stone founder Jann Wenner, and his wife, Jane. 

“Just bought tickets and went in,” Wenner said. “I don’t think anybody even really knew we were there. It was empty, afternoon, and during a weekday. So the four of us are sitting together in the middle of the theater, watching this thing about the breakup of the Beatles.”

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According to Wenner, Lennon cried while watching the footage of the band’s breakdown.

“I just remember walking out of the theater and all of us in a foursome huddle, hugging, and the sadness of the occasion,” Wenner recalled.

While Lennon spoke about how excited he was for the new stage of his career, he mourned the end of the band.