‘Below Deck Sailing Yacht’: Colin Macrae Exclaims ‘If Everyone Left the Boat Over an STD, There’d Be No Yachties Left in the World!’

Colin Macrae from Below Deck Sailing Yacht tries to calm Dani Soares’ nerves over whether or not boyfriend Jean-Luc Cerza Lanaux has an STD. She threatens to quit. But he jokes in a confessional, “Dani’s just overreacting,” he insists. “If everyone left the boat over an STD there’d be no yachties left in the world!’

Ultimately Cerza Lanaux learns what ails him as he’s seen calling a physician during an upcoming episode of the show. But in the meantime, all Soares can do is worry. Macrae tells her to try to take her mind off of the news, but he has some pretty funny observations about the entire situation.

Colin Macrae cast photo on Below Deck Sailing Yacht
Colin Macrae cast photo on Below Deck Sailing Yacht |Laurent Basset/Bravo

Colin Macrae compares Jean-Luc Cerza Lanaux’s ‘issue’ to the gross sea cucumber

Soares is seen clearly struggling as she approaches Macrae while he does the dishes in the galley kitchen. “I am no joke now seriously considering leaving,” she tells Macrae in a preview clip.

“If it is not his fault, he gave that sh*t to me,” she says in a confessional. “Whatever that sh*t is.”

Macrae says he’s in the dark as to why Soares wants to leave the boat. “I’m not sure how J.L feels about me sharing this with everybody,” she says. “But he’s on his f**king break, sleeping.” Soares walks toward Macrae and whispers in his ear.

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Of course, Macrae grins in a confessional. “Oh, sh*t,” he says as he takes a drink from a can. “His willy probably looks like the sea cucumber we picked up yesterday!” Cameras flashed to the dead sea cucumber that was stuck to the anchor chain. Macrae tries to remove it but it dissolves into mush.

He then asks Soares if she’s concerned about her own health. “I don’t know,” she says helping him dry the dishes. But he tells her to relax. “I wouldn’t worry about it until you know,” he says.

“I bet it’s gonna be something really silly,” he assures her. Macrae’s words seem to help Soares. “Gosh you are so reasonable,” she tells him.

‘Below Deck’ producers never saw this storyline coming

Cerza Lanaux and Soares have had a steamy boatmance, but suddenly, he wasn’t feeling very well. Shortly after the dramatic boat crash and the new guests arrive, he realizes something isn’t right.

“What the f**k is this sh*t?” he said in the last episode. “There’s things that have popped up down there that are concerning. I don’t think I have an STD but … f**k.” He waits a night but realizes whatever infection or issue he has is not resolving itself. That’s when he feels the need to inform Soares. She panics and is seen on the phone with a family member, planning to leave the boat and come home.

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After 16 seasons of shooting the series, the STD concern even shocked seasoned producer Courtland Cox.  “I’m a fossil who grew up in the ’70s and ’80s,” he told Vanity Fair. “What was going through my head was, ‘There’s a very easy way he could have prevented this—by using some kind of protection. If you roll the dice, you kinda gotta accept what happens to you. I’m not a heartless monster TV producer. I don’t want anyone to ever suffer or go through something they have an existential crisis over. In that moment, you’re hoping that it’s at least one of the lesser STDs that is easily treated.”

Find out how the situation plays out on Below Deck Sailing Yacht, Monday at 9/8c on Bravo.