Billie Eilish Had to Relearn How to Have Conversations With People After Becoming Famous: ‘I Was So Insecure’

Winning several Grammy Awards in one year usually leads to people thinking that the artist who achieved the feat has a perfect life with a perfect career. Despite having gotten so many achievements, Billie Eilish still maintains her down-to-earth personality and relatable nature that made fans fall in love with her in the first place.

Billie Eilish attends the 92nd Annual Academy Awards on February 09, 2020 in Hollywood, California.
Billie Eilish attends the 92nd Annual Academy Awards on February 9, 2020 in Hollywood, California | Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic

Billie Eilish is in the midst of an identity crisis

Even though Eilish has been in the public eye for several years now, she still struggles to accept her identity as a huge celebrity. She recently admitted in an interview with Vanity Fair that she sometimes feels like she’s pretending to be herself.

“For a while now, I’ve been really having an identity crisis, a little,” Eilish said. “I did some radio show performance, and the entire show, I felt like I was pretending to be Billie Eilish. I felt like I completely wasn’t looking at myself, as myself. I was just totally seeing it from not my own perspective, and it was so weird.” She went on to say that she felt like a “parody” of herself. 

Billie Eilish talks Drake
Billie Eilish | Frederic J. Brown/AFP

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Billie Eilish struggles with fame sometimes

To get help on grappling with fame, Eilish has reached out to several other music superstars for their advice on how they handle it all. “I’ve definitely had moments of reaching out to a couple of people. But every time I do it, I kind of stop myself because I’m like, ‘This is so weird,’” Eilish revealed.

“I’ve had some conversations with [Justin] Bieber about this, where we just talk about the craziness of our lives, and whatever,” she continued. Ariana [Grande]’s been really cool about stuff. Those are some people that I feel have really shown me support. And Katy Perry told me that I could reach out to her whenever and talk about it because it’s crazy.”

Billie Eilish performs onstage at Spotify Hosts "Best New Artist" Party at The Lot Studios on January 23, 2020 in Los Angeles, California.
Billie Eilish performs onstage at Spotify Hosts “Best New Artist” Party at The Lot Studios on January 23, 2020 in Los Angeles, California | Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for Spotify

Billie Eilish had to learn how to act like a normal person and not a celebrity

Eilish has done an interview with Vanity Fair on the same day every year for the past four years, and each year she watches clips from previous interviews and comments on how much has changed.

In 2019, Eilish noted something that she still speaks about today. “‘Sometimes I’ll catch myself in a conversation with someone acting like I’m in an interview, and in interviews, you’re trained to talk about yourself and not ask the other person about themself,'” Eilish said at the time. “‘I’m acting like I’m being interviewed instead of acting like I’m talking to a human being.'”

Eilish said she was happy she was aware of this a year ago and that she feels “so much better about it now.” She also admitted that her acting this way at the time was a reaction to everything that was happening around her and what image she wanted to project publicly.

“I was so insecure about where I was. I felt like I was always having to prove what I did and what I do and who I am,” Eilish said. “But something about it getting bigger and bigger makes me almost more comfortable not proving myself.”