‘Counting On’ Viewers Are Convinced Jessa Duggar and Ben Seewald Would Never Have Dated If Their Lives Had Been Different

Jessa Duggar and Ben Seewald have always had different personalities. Still, the Counting On stars fell in love and appear to have a strong marriage. Some viewers, though, are convinced the couple would not be together if they’d been raised in more conventional American households.

Jessa and Ben at the grocery story
Jessa Duggar and Ben Seewald | jessaseewald via Instagram

Ben Seewald has always been more emotional than Jessa Duggar

When Seewald and Duggar started their courtship back in 2013, most of it was filmed for 19 Kids and Counting. In one scene, Duggar and her mother were out for coffee and discussing the courtship; Duggar revealed that Seewald always made sweet comments to her and that she didn’t know how to respond. Michelle said she needed to essentially tell him how much his comments mean to her, even if she wasn’t sure how to put it into words.

Fast forward seven years, and Duggar and Seewald are now married with three kids — and it seems Duggar still isn’t too emotional.

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You’re a fantastic Dad, @ben_seewald!

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RELATED: Jessa Duggar Calls Herself a ‘Problem Child,’ Says Her Children Are ‘Sinners’

Viewers are convinced Duggar and Seewald wouldn’t be together if not for their lifestyles

Over the years, Duggar has earned the reputation of being somewhat of a “mean girl.” Though viewers might throw the term around loosely, they generally seem to say that she shows less emotion than her siblings and doesn’t have time for anyone’s nonsense. But her and Seewald’s different personalities have led some to suspect they never would have been suited for each other if they had grown up in more mainstream environments.

“I honestly don’t think Jessa and Ben would have even actually dated if it was the real world. Jessa strikes me as the high school mean girl, and Ben as the nice but kinda nerdy guy,” one user posted to Reddit. “Ben definitely would have dumped her by now if he could,” another person wrote. Though Duggar and Seewald do have different personalities, sometimes opposites attract, so there’s no telling how their relationship would have actually played out under different circumstances.

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Happy birthday to my favorite person in the whole wide world! @ben_seewald! Wow, a quarter of a century old! There are so many things I love about you, and here are a few: You have a beautiful soul. You’re thoughtful and romantic. We’re in a busy season with babies, so I’m not going to pretend that it’s all roses and chocolates. Mostly it’s the hundred “little” things, like those very married kisses on your way out the door to work, and how the moment you return home, you’re changing poopy diapers, loading the dishwasher, and at least once a week asking me if we want to get the kids to bed early so we can pop popcorn and watch our favorite video podcasts together. I love your love for learning. You see education as a way of life, not something that stopped once you wrapped up your 4-year degree. You’re an enthusiastic about gaining knowledge, always reading and researching a broad array of subjects and sharing what you’re learning with me. I love this! You’ve gotten me hooked on Audible! I’ll admit, I do copy a lot of titles from your booklist, and I like absorbing the same things so we can discuss and give feedback to one another. It’s almost like we have our own little book club! You’ve given me an appreciation for diverse kinds of foods, always choosing new restaurants and unique menu items on date nights. You’re a fantastic cook, and you like choosing new dishes with unique ingredients. I can’t say you’ve ever made anything that I didn’t love. I usually roll with the produce gathered by whoever pulled my grocery pickup order, but you love strolling the racks and handpicking the freshest ingredients to use in your recipe. This care and attention to detail spans across into so many other areas of life as well! You think of fun ways to make memories together as a family. Getting takeout for dinner and eating it at a scenic location. Going for walks together and taking in the beauty of God’s creation. Donut dates with the boys, and then wrestling matches to work off all the sugar! Regular hugs, kisses and cuddles for all the kiddos. It’s no wonder “Da-day” is Ivy’s favorite word! You’re our world! We love you more than words can express! ❤️

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RELATED: Jessa Duggar’s Husband’s Father Thought Ben Seewald’s Courtship With Jessa Would ‘Mature’ Him

Do short courtships give the couples enough time to get to know each other?

Some viewers also questioned whether the length of Duggar courtships might affect the outcome of the relationship. Duggar and Seewald dated for nearly a year, but other Duggars, such as Jinger and Jeremy Vuolo, only courted for two months or less.

“Would [Jeremy and Jinger] be together at all if they had maybe had a longer courtship time?” one Reddit user questioned. “Yes, the courtship was short, but I think the real issue was that she was the equivalent of a preteen with her first crush who could do no wrong,” someone else said, suggesting the kids inability to date, combined with their young age during courtships, led them to not know the difference between true love and a crush.

Ultimately, there is no way of knowing whether the Duggars would be happier or unhappier if their relationship dynamics had been different. They all seem to have strong relationships, and nothing beyond fan speculation suggests any of the couples aren’t happy.