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Jessica Simpson is revealing more details about her struggle with alcohol, saying that at one point her drinking had become so serious that “I completely didn’t recognize myself.” 

The singer opened up to Today’s Hoda Kotb in an interview airing Wednesday, Jan. 29, saying “I had started a spiral and I couldn’t catch up with myself … and that was with alcohol.” Eventually, she realized that she had to “surrender” if she hoped to get sober. 

Jessica Simpson opens up in her new memoir 

In Simpson’s upcoming memoir Open Book, due out Feb. 4, she discusses being sexually abused as a child, her relationships with ex-husband Nick Lachey and singer-songwriter John Mayer, and her experiences in the music industry, including the high-powered exec who ordered her to lose weight, leading to a 20-year habit of using diet pills. 

The fashion mogul eventually developed an addiction to alcohol. On some level, she knew her drinking was an issue, but she didn’t stop. 

“I would say it openly to everyone. ‘I know. I know, I’ll stop soon. I’ll cut back,’” Simpson told Kotb. “For me to cut back, like I’m an all or nothing girl, and so I didn’t know it was a problem until it was.”

Simpson says she ‘always’ had a cup filled with alcohol

Simpson drank all the time, she said. “I always had a glitter cup. It was always filled to the rim with alcohol,” she told Kotb. In her book, she recalls hitting “rock bottom” on Halloween in 2017. 

She and her husband Eric Johnson were on the way to an event at their daughter’s school. “It was 7:30 in the morning and I’d already had a drink,” Simpson writes in her book. Later that day, she was unable to help her kids get ready to celebrate. 

“I was terrified of letting them see me in that shape,” Simpson writes. “I am ashamed to say that I don’t know who got them into their costumes that night.”

She was afraid she’d ‘failed’ her kids

Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson | John Shearer/Getty Images for Jessica Simpson Collection

The next day, Simpson avoided her kids, she writes: “I slept in, afraid to see them, afraid I had failed them. I hid until they left, then drank.”

At that point, the “I Wanna Love You Forever” singer realized she needed to make a change. Her friends came over, and she told them she was ready to quit drinking.

“I need to stop,” she told them, as she recounts in her book. “Something’s got to stop. And if it’s alcohol that’s doing this and making things worse, then I quit.”

“I just realized that I had to surrender,” she told Kotb. “It was time. I had to give it up and I was ready. I’m not going to miss another day. I’m not going to miss another Halloween. I’m not going to miss another Christmas. I’m going to be present.”

The full interview with Jessica Simpson airs tomorrow on NBC’s Today

How to get help: In the U.S., contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration helpline at 1-800-662-4357.

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