Mariah Carey Said This Was Her ‘Saving Grace’ as a Child

Mariah Carey is loved around the world for her incredible talent and her personality. The Grammy Award-winning singer has entertained audiences on stage and on screen for decades. 2020 marks Carey’s 30th anniversary in the entertainment industry, and she celebrated in a big way: with a tell-all memoir and an album of previously unreleased material.

Mariah Carey
Mariah Carey | Terence Patrick/CBS via Getty Images

Mariah Carey is a New York Times bestselling author

In The Meaning of Mariah Carey, Carey divulges some of her most personal stories from moments throughout her life and her career. The book topped The New York Times’ nonfiction bestseller list, and with good reason.

Carey has mentioned her childhood in the past, telling Out magazine in 2014 she had a “tough-as-nails” upbringing. In her memoir, the Grammy-winning singer revealed some traumatic stories from her younger years.

In the first few pages of the book, Carey describes the violent fights that would break out between her brother Morgan and her father Alfred Roy. “A shouting match became a tornado of fists in what seemed like a matter of seconds, banging through the room, knocking things over, and leaving havoc in its wake,” she recalled.

Mariah Carey
Mariah Carey | Kevin Winter/Getty Images for iHeartMedia

Mariah Carey had an important ‘saving grace’ as a child

To help get her through scary experiences like these, Carey turned to music. She talked about her love of music and how it helped her through hard times in an interview with supermodel Naomi Campbell on her web series No Filter with Naomi.

“As a very young kid, and it was around 3 or 4, I started humming to myself and singing and making up little melodies and just really being obsessed with music and stealing the little radio from the kitchen and bringing it into my bedroom and living vicariously through the music,” Carey reminisced.

“It was always my saving grace,” she added. “It’s always been my saving grace.”

Mariah Carey is honored with a Hollywood Star.
Mariah Carey | Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic

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Mariah Carey wanted to keep her gift a secret from others

Carey’s love of music ended up being what gave her strength and happiness at times when she needed it most. Growing up as a mixed child in a predominantly white environment, she said she felt like she was often made to feel “less than human.” But she held on to her gift because it was her own thing that no one could take from her.

“I was like, ‘Well, they don’t know I have this. They don’t know how music is here with me,'” Carey recounted. She said that music was her “secret” that she kept to herself.

Carey went on to reiterate that music was her “saving grace,” and she shouted out her fans who’ve known this for years. She mentioned her song “My Saving Grace” from her 2002 album Charmbracelet, and acknowledged that that’s what she was singing about in the song. “[Music] was my saving grace and it still is,” she smiled.