‘Married at First Sight’ Reunion: Haley Harris and Jacob Harder Argue About Their ‘8 Weeks of Hell’ Together

Bringing a fun modern spin to the dating life, Married at First Sight brings two strangers together for a marriage to test their connection, potential for love, and compatibility. A surprising number of couples actually make it through the tests and challenges following their union and decide to stay married, with some still together today.

As for season 12’s Haley Harris and Jacob Harder — they didn’t stand a chance. They couldn’t even agree about their ‘eight weeks of hell together,’ unable to get on the same page about what went wrong. 

Married at First Sight sign on a table
Married at First Sight | Cooper Neill/Getty Images

Haley Harris and Jacob Harder have never been on the same page

If you’ve set aside the time to watch Married at First Sight’s season 12 series, then you already know that Harris and Harder were not compatible since day way. Honestly, it’s surprising they were matched, to begin with, considering Harris is more adventurous and Harder is more of a home-body. You could say opposites attract, but that’s far from the truth with these two newlyweds.

It was clear in the beginning that neither party was really in it to make it work. As the series continued, the tension never dissipates, with the two refusing to ‘talk about love’ together, Harris taking off with the other couples without her husband, the awkwardness between any physical contact (even a hug!), and so much more. To the surprise of absolutely no one, they chose to divorce and stuck with it.

They couldn’t even agree on what went wrong at the reunion

As reunion day approached, many couples were happy to reminisce and discuss their unique experience on the show. Harris and Harder, however, reminded us exactly why it didn’t (and would never) work between them. “I don’t take myself very seriously, and I think that generally annoyed her,” Jacob said of what went wrong in their relationship. “I don’t think my version of playfulness –“

“I didn’t pick up on any playfulness,” Haley interrupted. Jacob continued, “Um, but you know, on decision day when you tell the world that I never tried and my head was never in it, it’s like, we went through eight weeks of hell together, and you could at least give me some credit. That to me was the worst part of all this.”

“I didn’t feel like you never tried to get to know me,” Haley responded. “It wasn’t that you tried marriage; I just don’t think you tried to get to know who I am.” Jacob clapped back, “You shot me down every single step of the way. I tried to go out with you or do something, and you know.”

“But there was never a two-way street of trying to get to know me,” Haley pointed out. “You tried to do things, but there was never a –” Jacob added before she could finish:

“You were literally telling me you don’t want heavy stuff. You don’t want this, you don’t want that. You did not want to engage me. That’s the truth. The energy you were giving me. The looks. You wanted nothing — You did not want to be in the same room as me. I don’t know if you hate me as a person, but you definitely hated me as a husband … She was constantly disrespecting me. So, when I did have a conversation with her –“

Haley laughed, “Disrespecting. That’s funny.” “Yes,” Jacob said. “My entire experience with you was disrespectful. I was always the last person to find out what you were doing.” Haley returned with:

“Here’s the problem that annoys the sh*t out of me … You always think you know what I’m thinking or what I’m going to say … You don’t know me, and you don’t know how I would feel.”

They have since hashed things out


‘Married at First Sight’: Fans React to Jacob and Haley’s Crumbling Relationship

Although we all know very well the two didn’t decide to continue with their marriage, Monsters and Critics does point out that the two did end things amicably.

“I think it just all boils back down to like we have very different communication styles and … at the end of the day, we’re not compatible,” Haley said during their celebration drink while apologizing to her MAFS co-star for her part in the demise of their marriage. “But I don’t think that that makes us right or wrong in the situation, just viewing it differently, and I’m sorry if you felt like it was a low blow…”

“This had been a pretty civilized conversation for me and Haley,” Jacob added. “Hopefully, we can continue that.”