May Pang Said John Lennon Liked to Be Controlled by Strong Women: ‘John Was Like a Baby’

In the 1970s, John Lennon began a relationship with May Pang, his and Yoko Ono’s assistant. Ono did not view the affair as a betrayal; in fact, she helped orchestrate it. Pang was in love with Lennon, but she felt that Ono still had a measure of control over the relationship. Pang believed that Lennon liked it this way. She said he sought out partners who were able to control him.

John Lennon and May Pang began a relationship that Yoko Ono supported

Lennon and Ono married in 1969 and began to face marital problems in the early 1970s. Pang worked at Apple Corps and said that Ono approached her about starting a relationship with Lennon. 

“Yes, Yoko did approach me, and I thought it was insane,” she told Variety. “I told her I wasn’t interested at all. They were having problems in their marriage; they actually weren’t talking to each other. But John spontaneously decided to go to L.A. on his own and asked me to go with him. Yoko wasn’t even aware we had gone until after we left.”

Pang and Lennon were together for roughly 18 months during his Lost Weekend phase. Ono said this didn’t upset her.

“The affair was not something that was hurtful to me,” Ono told The Telegraph in 2012. “I needed a rest. I needed space.” 

May Pang said John Lennon liked when his partner controlled him

Over the course of their relationship, Pang got to know Lennon well. He and Ono had not divorced, only temporarily separated, and they remained in each other’s lives. According to Pang, she remained in contact with Ono throughout her relationship with Lennon. She believed that Ono was in control of many elements of the marriage, which she thought Lennon liked. She felt this particularly strongly when Lennon returned to his marriage with Ono.

“I hated to admit it, but John was like a baby,” she wrote in her book Loving John. “He really did not want to deal with the fact that some of his needs would never be satisfied, so he went back to an environment in which his needs were controlled for him. I suspected that as time went on his life would be made simpler and simpler. It was horrible, but John felt most secure when his life was the most childlike.”

His violent outbursts while intoxicated were the only time when Pang said Lennon stopped wanting this type of dynamic.

“I realized that liquor was the one thing that enabled him to overcome his desire to be controlled by a strong woman,” she wrote. “It was obvious no woman — not even Yoko — could handle him when he was drunk.”

The former Beatle remained with Yoko Ono for the rest of his life

Lennon returned to Ono in 1975. He explained why they got back together three days after he’d moved back into their apartment.

“Well, it’s not a matter of who broke it up. It broke up,” he told Rolling Stone. “And why did we end up back together? (pompous voice) We ended up together again because it was diplomatically viable … come on. We got back together because we love each other.”

According to Lennon, the separation hadn’t worked out for them.

“That’s it. It didn’t work out,” he said. “And the reaction to the breakup was all that madness. I was like a chicken without a head.”