Mindy Kaling Has Never Cared If She Intimidates Men–’It’s Total Crap’

Mindy Kaling’s first big break was writing for The Office and starring as Kelly Kapoor. From there, she hasn’t slowed down. She went on to create The Mindy Project, Champions, Four Weddings and a funeral, and Never Have I Ever.

In film, she’s done voice work in Despicable Me, Wreck-It Ralph, and Inside Out. She starred in The Night Before, Ocean’s 8, and Late Night, which she also wrote and produced.

Kaling is also the author of two New York Times best-selling books, Is Everyone Hanging out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) and Why Not Me?

She’s an accomplished force in Hollywood, and she thinks any quality man wouldn’t be intimidated by her.

Mindy Kaling at the 2020 Vanity Fair Oscar Party
Mindy Kaling | Rich Fury/VF20/Getty Images for Vanity Fair

Mindy Kaling rejects the notion that men are actually intimidated by successful women. And the ones who are? Who needs ’em

While Kaling hasn’t exactly always posted the specifics of her dating life on social media (she has a two-year-old daughter and the father is still a mystery), she’s written about her overall experience with “Romance and Guys” in Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, where she dives into “Jewish Guys,” “Men and Boys,” and “Chest Hair.”

In 2012, when she was interviewed by Vulture, she was 33 and had had four boyfriends. She also felt like most men weren’t actually intimidated by successful women.

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“I feel like I’ve met so many girls who say that: ‘Oh, he’ll be too intimidated.’ And I’m like, ‘No, you’re just terrible. That’s why they wouldn’t want to date you. It’s not because of some fake-y thing like intimidation,’” she said.

Kaling has never bought into the notion that she should pretend to be less of a big deal.

“I’m supposed to appear less successful than I am? Yeah, it’s total crap. Even if you were able to con somebody into not being intimidated by you, eventually your true self would emerge, who’s successful and self-sufficient, and then they would be turned off by it,” she said.

Two men Mindy Kaling thinks are huge catches

At the time, Kaling came prepared with examples.

“I will also say that the two guys that I think are incredibly talented, catch-y-type guys — Max Greenfield and Chris Messina — they are both married to women that are incredibly successful and a little bit older than them, and I just love it. They’re like, ‘I f*cking love how powerful my girl is,’ and they’re such great guys. They totally love it,’” she said.

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Testing this whole vitamin D theory

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In 2012, Kaling had a little crush on Messina.

“I didn’t want to say this at first because I didn’t want to seem unprofessional,” she told the publication, “but I feel like he has the perfect face. I think he looks like one of those statues in ancient Rome that they have of, like, fleet-footed Apollo. He looks like a statue, but he’s a tough guy. I can’t even look at him sometimes because he’s too cute.”

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