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Carl Radke of Summer House is opening up and sharing an emotional post dedicated to his late brother. The Bravo star was in the middle of filming the reality series when he learned that his sibling had died. Radke is now sharing an emotional post dedicated to his brother on what would’ve been his 42nd birthday.

Carl Radke posing and smiling for his 'Summer House' portrait
Carl Radke | Stephanie Diani/Bravo

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“Today would have been my brother’s 42nd birthday. The feeling of loss will never go away but I commit daily to be grateful for the things I’ve gained,” he said in the post. “Yeah I’m smiling here but I’m crying while I type this. It’s funny how grieving has [its] waves and its ‘days.'”

Radke added that his birthday is close to his brother’s and “it’s hard not to think about him” and the impact his sibling had on his life.

“I just wanted to take the time to thank everyone for reaching out with birthday messages and support. I am so lucky to have incredible friends, family, and girlfriend who made it so meaningful,” Radke continued. “[Lindsay Hubbs] you are beyond amazing and thank you for being right here with me. To anyone who has emailed, messaged, or commented in the last 18 months, THANK YOU. I don’t think I could have ever imagined the response people have had to my life changes and our [family’s] loss.”

“The stories of disease and mental health challenges people share continue to really pull at my heart. I hope to share my journey so it puts a face to getting through hard things and moving forward. I want to continue to live with purpose and turn myself over to something bigger. I feel like my brother would be proud of me in this moment. I planted a little tree to sew some new roots and engage in something with meaning. As silly or goofy it is, I wanted to offer up my promise to myself and my brother. 393 days later and will continue to focus on one day at a time. Happy Birthday WCR,” Radke ended.

How to get help: In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Or text HOME to 741-741 to speak with a trained crisis counselor at the free Crisis Text Line.