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It may have been over 10 years since Jon and Kate Gosselin first made their appearance on TLC’s Jon & Kate Plus 8, but no one can forget the splash the family made. While the television program was relatively short-lived, we still got to get a glimpse into their large family of twins and sextuplets. And, of course, fans also got to see the ins and outs of Jon and Kate’s marriage.

Jon and Kate have since divorced, and they’ve publicly feuded on several occasions. Here’s the real reason the two said they separated.

Kate says Jon became a different person overnight

Kate Gosselin
Kate Gosselin | Kate Gosselin via Instagram

Kate believed her marriage to Jon would last through any difficulties they faced. Unfortunately, by 2009 (and just two years after the beginning of their TLC program), their relationship was completely crumbling. As Kate told People, “The weirdest thing is that overnight he became a different person.”

As for what changed, Kate claimed Jon started going out late and not coming home until the morning despite having eight children he should have helped take care of. Not only that, but he was purchasing motorcycles and cars. When Kate first started to relay Jon’s odd behavior to her family and friends, they didn’t want to believe it — but then they started to see it, too.

Infidelity rumors surrounded Jon

Not only was Jon in hot water with Kate, but rumors started flying that he was also cheating on her. E! News notes reports claimed Jon was out partying with college students just hours away from the home he resided in with Kate and the kids. Not only that, but there were also reports saying he had an affair with Deanna Hummel, a grade-school teacher. By the time the news of their divorce hit the media, Jon and Kate were so openly hostile toward each other that the rumors seemed legitimate.

Jon has denied the rumors, however. On Couples Therapy in 2014, In Touch Weekly notes he said, “The biggest misconception is the reason for the divorce is that I cheated on my wife, but I didn’t.”

Jon claims the marriage no longer had any affection

Jon Gosselin with his children
Jon Gosselin with his children | Jon Gosselin via Instagram

Jon has his own reasons for why his marriage crumbled. According to him, his relationship with Kate was turning totally platonic. Not only that, but Kate was allegedly constantly giving him task lists and Post-It notes of to-dos, In Touch Weekly reports. “[I thought], ‘OK … I’m going to complete these tasks, and she’ll love me because I do these things,'” Jon said. But when Kate remained unappreciative, he added, “I went out to a bar and stayed out till 4:00 in the morning. When I came home that morning, she said nothing. So I did it the next night.”

By the following day, Jon knew his relationship with Kate was coming to an end. And after the divorce, he maintains he lost “everything” to Kate and her team of lawyers.

Kate is willing to look for love again

Jon certainly had a difficult time with the divorce, but he’s seemed to land on his own two feet over the years. The Hollywood Gossip notes he’s been dating his current girlfriend, Colleen Conrad, since 2014. As for Kate, her love life is a whole different story.

Kate is slated to return to TLC for a brand new reality series, Kate Plus Date. While she’s put all of her time and attention toward her eight kids in the past, the kids are growing up fast — and she’s noted to publications that she fears growing older alone. In Kate’s words, “But it was very apparent, now that they’re older and talking about dating and how they’re all gonna get married someday … it became apparent: they want someone for me. They want me to have somebody in my life.” For that reason, she’s going out on a limb and attempting to find her perfect match.

Will Kate find love? We’ll have to watch Kate Plus Date to find out.

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