Valerie Bertinelli Reveals Why She Was ‘Angry’ at Her Mother ‘All the Time’ Growing Up

In her new memoir, Getting Naked: The Quiet Work of Becoming Perfectly Imperfect, actress Valerie Bertinelli reflects candidly on her upbringing and the complicated dynamics within her family. She writes that growing up in a household where her parents often kept secrets from one another shaped the way she understood love and trust. And she believes this later influenced her own relationships and marriages. In March 2026, she opened up on The Drew Barrymore Show about why she felt “angry” at her mother. Here’s what she revealed.

Valerie Bertinelli explained to Drew Barrymore why she always felt ‘angry’ at her mother during her youth

In her memoir Getting Naked: The Quiet Work of Becoming Perfectly Imperfect, One Day at a Time actress Valerie Bertinelli reflects on the complicated marriage between her late parents, Andrew Bertinelli and Nancy Bertinelli. The actress has said she grew up sensing that her parents kept secrets from their children and each other. She has also spoken about her father’s difficult personality and the way his behavior affected the family dynamic. Bertinelli noted that he could be loving but also stern and judgmental, particularly toward her mother.

Looking back as an adult, Bertinelli has suggested that infidelity and other secrets within her parents’ marriage confused her. And this could have influenced her own struggles with intimacy and trust in adulthood.

In March 2026, Bertinelli spoke on The Drew Barrymore Show about her new memoir, Getting Naked: The Quiet Work of Becoming Perfectly Imperfect. In the book, she wrote that she once made her mother “the recipient” of all of her anger. This also likely signaled that Bertinelli likely felt “safest” with her mom.

“I felt guilt a long time about, you know, the way I treated my mom,” Bertinelli told Drew Barrymore. “I was angry at her all the time. And I really wasn’t angry at her — I just didn’t want her nose in my business. And it’s just like, she deserved to have her nose in my business.”

“I was also mad at her because I thought she should’ve been more angry at my dad,” the actress continued, adding that she’s “furious” at her father for what Barrymore called his “infidelities.” However, Bertinelli noted that she still really loves her dad. “I know that he wanted to be a better man,” she said.

“We can have jealousy and do bad things, but also have immense love and have big hearts,” the actress passionately stated. “We can want to do our best and know damn well we can do better.”

Commenting more broadly on the writing process, Bertinelli noted that she wasn’t ready to speak about the abuses she endured before putting pen to paper. “I realized that’s what’s holding me back,” she told Barrymore. “I’m letting that abuse hold me back. It’s not the abuse doing it. I don’t want to face it — but I did want to face it.”