‘Gilmore Girls’: In Defense of Christopher Hayden

Gilmore Girls fans largely despise Christopher Hayden. There is good reason for their feelings, too. While Christopher and Lorelai Gilmore had unbelievable chemistry, he was never right for her. Christopher was entitled, prone to temper tantrums, and served as the wedge that kept Lorelai and Luke Danes apart. He was also a terrible father to his daughter, Rory Gilmore. Despite all of that, Christopher’s worst qualities do seem to have an explanation. 

Christopher was always in love with Lorelai but always knew she was too good for him

Many Gilmore Girls fans have taken issue with how Christopher consistently let Lorelai and Rory Gilmore down. Christopher showed up repeatedly, made Lorelai think he was interested in a relationship, and then disappeared when things didn’t go his way, or she rejected the offer of a spontaneous wedding. 

Christopher was wildly immature, and he could be awful to Lorelai. Still, we think Christopher did love Lorelai and would have married her in a heartbeat many times during the show’s seven-season run. Deep down, though, it seemed Christopher understood that Lorelai would always be too good for him. We don’t think that excuses his behavior, but we kind of understand why he acted so erratically. 

Christopher seemed to have serious trauma from his upbringing 

Christopher is often written off by Gilmore Girls fans as rich, entitled, and spoiled. He was all those things, but there might be more to Christopher than meets the eye. Chris appeared to have some significant trauma related to his upbringing. 

His family largely saw Christopher as a “disappointment.” He didn’t attend an Ivy League school, and he didn’t follow his father into business. Straub Hayden seemed disapproving and cold in the brief scenes he appeared in. It makes sense that Christopher would be inconsistent with his own child when you think about how strange and difficult his childhood must have been. 

Christopher did try to rectify his relationship with Rory Gilmore

Christopher’s trauma didn’t give him a license to traumatize his oldest daughter, but we think he did try to make things right with Rory eventually. After losing his father, Christopher seemed to recognize that he hadn’t done right by his older child. He did work to make things right, although he wasn’t always successful.  

Eventually, Christopher stepped up to pay for Yale and did make himself available to Rory. It is sad that it took him until Rory was a grown woman to take an interest in her life, but we have to give him a little credit for showing up eventually.