‘Put a Ring On It: Cheathab’: Dr. Stacii Jae Johnson On Why Emotional Affairs ‘Absolutely’ Count as Cheating [Exclusive]
OWN’s newest reality series isn’t dancing around the hard topics.
Put a Ring On It: Cheathab, which premieres July 31, follows three couples whose relationships have all been rocked by infidelity. Together, they’ll all move into Miami’s “Cheathab House,” where they’ll confront the trust issues, jealousy, and unresolved wounds threatening their futures. Oh, and they’ll also go on dates with their cheating partner.
It’s that last twist that makes the relationship series so revolutionary, Dr. Stacii Jae Johnson, a relationship coach and therapist told Showbiz Cheat Sheet in an interview.
“It’s the first show of its kind. There aren’t any other reality shows out there that have this premise,” she said. “It puts infidelity at the center of the show. It’s not something that we beat around the bush with. And we also give the people the opportunity to sit with that betrayal for the entire season, as well as give them the opportunity to even consider if the person they cheated with is a match.”
Dr. Stacii Jae Johnson wants the ‘Cheathab’ couples to embrace ‘radical honesty’
Confronting that infidelity head-on leads to some big emotional breakthroughs – as well as some major fireworks. In the final moments of the series premiere, one woman almost comes to blows with her boyfriend’s audacious cheating partner when the other woman shows up at the Cheathab House.
As each couple digs deep to address the underlying issues that led to the infidelity, Johnson is there to support them, while also asking the tough questions. It’s an approach she dubs “radical honesty,” or a commitment to speaking the full truth, even when it’s hard to hear.
“Men can say, or women can say, ‘Well, you didn’t ask that question,’” the founder of I Want a Good Man University said of how some couples handle disputes. “But you know when you’re not saying something. That would be, ‘I told the truth, but I wasn’t radically honest.’ Or sometimes [people] feel like they’re protecting their partner by keeping their truth a secret.”
Those secrets can be big, like concealing the existence of a “work wife.” Or they could be something as small as lying about finding a stranger attractive. But being open about feelings is the foundation of a strong relationship, according to Johnson.
“Because the more you keep secrets, the more you’re thinking those things, they start to build and then that moves you further away from your partner,” she said.
Secrets can also push someone to look outside their relationship for comfort.
People cheat “because they feel like they can’t be fully who they are with their partner,” Johnson said, adding that someone may stray because “there’s no emotional safety” to share their true desires, wants, or needs.
‘Put a Ring on It: Cheathab’ coach explains why emotional cheating is just as bad as physical infidelity
That cheating can take many forms. Physical infidelity is an issue for all the couples on the show. But there is emotional infidelity as well, as well as the conflict that comes after trust is broken. For one woman, the fear that her partner will be unfaithful again is pushing him further away, as she strives to monitor his every move, even tracking his cell phone.
Johnson, who is preparing to launch a new podcast, A Different Kinda Woman, stresses that those emotional affairs can be just as devastating for a couple as having sex outside the relationship. That’s something that surprises a few of the women.
“Emotional cheating is just as bad,” Johnson said. “Unfortunately, a lot of us don’t believe that. When we have that work husband or work wife or we’re taking conversations outside of our relationships that should be conversations we have with our significant other, it’s cheating. It is absolutely cheating,” she said. “It’s not just physical intimacy. Most of the women were quite shocked with that because they, of course, regarded the men as being horrible people because their cheating is more physical.”
While infidelity has brought all three couples to the Cheathab House, the conversations they have with themselves and with Johnson aren’t just about cheating.
“I want people to look past just the cheating and the drama and to really dial in on my couples sessions and my individual sessions because there’s a lot of gems there that can really help improve – even if couples watch it together – some of the disconnect that may be happening in couples’ lives,” she said.
Viewers who look past the chaos – “and there is a lot of it,” Johnson admitted – will see people who come out of the Cheathab experience stronger, whether they leave partnered or single.
“Look at that [chaos], but then push past it to see, wow, through that radical honesty, look at how they grew individually … And look at how beautiful their lives are now because of this process,” she said. “That’s what I want people to look at.”
Put a Ring on It: Cheathab premieres Friday, July 31 at 9 p.m. ET/PT on OWN before moving to its regular timeslot of Fridays at 8 p.m. ET/PT beginning August 14.
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