‘This Is Poly’ Power Throuple on the ‘Pressure Cooker’ of Reality TV and the Importance of Hard Conversations [Exclusive]
Polyamory is not for the faint of heart. That much is clear after watching just a few minutes of We TV’s newest reality series, This Is Poly.
The show follows multiple groups of people who are all exploring different approaches to polyamorous relationships, from a tattoo artist with two husbands to a man with four wives and 18 children. And then there are Kami, Trent, and Nita, a “power throuple” who deliver some of the show’s most fiery moments.
‘This Is Poly’ shows ‘raw and uncut’ reality of polyamory
The trio’s lifestyle is unconventional, and they don’t mind being the center of attention, Kami told Showbiz Cheat Sheet.
“It was kind of my idea [to do the show]. We love to dress up; we love to go out,” she said. “We would go out to dinner or whatever all dressed up and we would take pictures and people started commenting, like ‘You guys should have a TV crew following you.’”
“I just started manifesting that someday we’re going to be on a reality TV show,” she continued. “And then we had somebody from social media contact us and ask us if we’d be interested.”
Kami and Trent – who grew up in a strict religious environment – decided to explore polyamory after decades of marriage. Eventually, they opened their relationship to include Nita.
“We had a friendship for several years before we ever were in a relationship together [and] before this television show ever came along,” Nita stressed. “We were established, living together for many years before there were cameras knocking on our doors.”
In This Is Poly, the throuple takes a major step by opening up to their loved ones about their polyamorous lifestyle. The news doesn’t go over well with everyone, especially Kami and Trent’s more traditional relatives. (The couple was raised under some “very conservative, very legalistic belief systems,” Kami explained.) Nonetheless, they decide to go forward with a public commitment ceremony. That move exposes hidden fault lines in their relationship related to finances and their future.
“This was real life. I mean, we are living this as they’re filming it,” Kami said. “There were a lot of emotions and things going on.”
“There are real-life topics that have not been discussed prior to this,” Nita added. “You’re seeing it. It’s real, raw, and uncut. There are moments in my life that are unfolding in front of your eyes.”
Trent says filming was ‘more than we had bargained for’
Filming was intense, Trent agreed, though he added that so far, they’re happy with the results.
“It was a pressure cooker, no lie,” he said. “I mean, 12 hours a day filming for five days and then taking a break and doing it all over again. It was more than we had bargained for … But after it’s said and done, I don’t think we have any regrets. We were happy to get our story out.”
For Nita, filming This Is Poly made her realize the importance of clear communication.
“I feel like I could have did a lot better communicating through a lot of it,” she said. “There’s a lot of talks that we f*cked out instead of just having those real difficult conversations early on. I mean, I think that’s super important. I think if I could give any advice to anybody or any throuple or any group of individuals trying to make it work is definitely have those hard conversations fast. Just as fast as you’re willing to do everything else, that’s as fast as you need to be willing to have those hard topic conversations.”
Nita comes from “a completely different background and worldview” than Trent and Kami, Trent pointed out. That difference was something they loved about her. But it also caused strain when things were misunderstood or misinterpreted.
“It’s really a communication barrier that’s taking place … it’s like a language barrier, almost,” Nita said.
“A word can mean something different to us than it does to her,” Kami added.
Kami said she hoped that people who watch This Is Poly come away with the sense of the “diversity” of polyamory and the understanding that such relationships can work.
“One of our main goals for doing it was really to help people see that this is actually a really viable option and you can do it in a healthy way,” she said. “Yes, it might still be messy. There’s not a rule book for it, so it’s hard … it was really showing people that this can be a really beautiful thing. And it is something that if people really want to grow and expand and love, it is something that’s possible.”
This Is Poly airs Fridays at 9:30 p.m. ET/PT on We TV. Episodes stream the next day on All Reality.
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