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​​Prince Harry was only 12 when his mother, Princess Diana, died in an August 1997 car crash. But, as the Duke of Sussex revealed in his Spare memoir, he’d offered tender words to others. Ahead, the “polite” question Harry asked King Charles III’s longtime butler after Diana’s funeral.

Prince Harry asked King Charles’ butler how he’d been ‘holding up’ after Princess Diana’s funeral

Prince Harry and King Charles III at Princess Diana's funeral
Prince Harry and King Charles III | Jayne Fincher/Princess Diana Archive/Hulton Archive/Getty Images

After walking behind Diana’s coffin, a televised service, and private burial, Harry returned to Highgrove with his older brother, Prince William, then 15. Upon their arrival they were met by the king’s butler, Kevin. 

“He stood on the front steps, he recalled, waiting for our car, rehearsing what he’d say,” Harry wrote in his memoir, which officially dropped Jan. 10, 2023. However, the butler didn’t have a chance to say what’d he’d practiced because Harry said something first. 

“When we pulled up and he opened the car door I said: ‘How are you holding up, Kevin?’” Harry recalled. 

Kevin, Harry shared, thought the question “so polite” while the now-father of two described it as “so repressed.” 

King Charles didn’t hug Prince Harry when he shared news of Princess Diana’s death 

Prince Harry, who spoke to King Charles' butler after Princess Diana's funeral, with Prince William, King Charles, and Princess Diana
Princess Diana, Prince Harry, Prince William, and King Charles III | Tom Wargacki/WireImage

Before Harry attended his mother’s funeral, Harry learned of Diana’s death from his father. It was early in the morning, not dark yet not light outside, and the now-king appeared at Harry’s bedside. 

“He looked at me in a funny way, a way he’d never looked at me before. With … fear?” Harry wrote. When he asked what was going on, Harry recalled his father sitting on the edge of the bed, putting a hand on his knee, and saying: “‘Darling boy, Mummy’s been in a car crash.’”

Harry continued, sharing he “vividly” remembered thinking, “Crash … OK. But she’s all right? Yes?” and waiting for King Charles to say Diana was all right. Instead, his father shared that “‘Mummy was quite badly injured and taken to hospital’” with a head injury. 

“Did he mention paparazzi? Did he say she’d been chased? I don’t think so,” Harry recalled. “I can’t swear to it, but probably not. The paps were such a problem for Mummy, for everyone, it didn’t need to be said.” 

Then King Charles told Harry, “‘They tried, darling boy. I’m afraid she didn’t make it.’” Harry claimed he didn’t cry nor did the king hug him. 

“He wasn’t great at showing emotions under normal circumstances, how could he be expected to show them in such a crisis? But his hand did fall once more on my knee and he said: ‘It’s going to be OK,’” Harry continued. “This was quite a lot for him. Fatherly, hopeful, kind. And so very untrue.” 

Finally, King Charles left the room where Harry remained “saying nothing, seeing no one” until 9 a.m. when the castle’s bagpiper began to play. 

The same butler Harry spoke to after Diana’s funeral was supposed to be with him years later

Harry also explained in Spare that Kevin was to be around when he and Meghan stayed in Oxfordshire. Or, at least, that was the plan. “He knew the Oxfordshire house, and he’d know how to turn it quickly into a home,” Harry explained, noting Kevin had held him as a baby and “befriended” Princess Diana at Windsor Castle. 

“Meg adored Kevin, and vice versa, so I thought this be the start of something good,” Harry continued. “A much-needed change of scenery, a much-needed ally in our corner.”

Paparazzi photos, complete with a helicopter flyover, and the publication of the home’s address later squashed the plan.