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Season 18 of Sister Wives features what appears to be an emotionally torn Kody Brown. The former polygamist seems to be contrite regarding the dissolution of three of his four marriages over 14 months. He claims, “I could have done a lot better” handling the relationships.

Kody Brown appears contrite over the end of his spiritual marriages

In an interview with People Magazine, Kody Brown seemed remorseful as he faced life as a monogamist after almost 30 years of practicing polygamy. He shared his thoughts about the end of three of his longest marriages.

In the magazine’s online issue, Kody reflected on how he handled splitting from the women who formed the core of his polygamist unions. He was once married to Meri, Janelle, and Christine Brown and remains legally wed to Robyn Brown.

“I could have done a lot better,” he admits. Every day I think about a place where if I would’ve managed things differently, we might have moved forward in a different way.”

‘Divorce destroys your confidence’ says ‘Sister Wives’ star

The print issue of the publication shared more of Kody Brown’s thoughts about his present-day difficulties. The father of 18 claims he has experienced more than just remorseful feelings after more than three decades of living plural marriage.

“I have good days and bad days,” Kody says. “Lately, I’ve had a lot of good days.”

However, the experience has reportedly emotionally challenged the reality television star. “But it’s been sad and challenging. Divorce destroys your confidence,” he continued.

While not referencing his wife Robyn directly, he appeared to group her into the feelings he experiences as three of his wives move on independently without him. He says it has been “hard.”

“We’re still in a deep state of mourning,’ Kody explains. “We’ve been through a tough experience, and our creation to it has changed us.”

‘Sister Wives’ Kody Brown says life has been ‘a rollercoaster ride’

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‘Sister Wives’: Janelle Brown Spills She Left Kody Brown More Than Once But Ultimately Stayed ‘For the Sake of the Kids’

In a video interview for People Magazine, Kody Brown spoke of the end of three spiritual unions. He explains emotionally; he has been on a “rollercoaster ride.”

“The rollercoaster was fun even though it was challenging. It’s just moved to a place where there’s been a lot of heartbreak,” he admits.

“Hoping that you move forward with a lot of forgiveness. That you find that place where love and grace prevail again,” the Sister Wives star concluded.

His optimism directly contrasts scenes featured in season 18, where Kody alludes to playing the villain this season. The reality star called himself “the devil” in a teaser trailer.

As Kody accepts that the unusual Brown family dynamic has crumbled, he says in a confessional: “I worked so hard to do what was right. And when you lose that, well, I should just be the devil I think I am now.”

Sister Wives season 18 airs Sundays at 10 p.m. EST on TLC.