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Dave “Lil Dicky” Burd is looking for love in Dave Season 3 Episode 1. Unfortunately, the only thing Texas is looking for is Lil Dicky. Written by Luvh Rakhe and Randall Valdez Castillo and directed by Brian Lannin, here’s our recap of the season 3 premiere of the FXX/Hulu series.

[SPOILER ALERT: Spoilers ahead regarding Dave Season 3 Episode 1.]

Dave Burd on stage in 'Texas' episode of 'Dave' Season 3.
Dave Burd on tour in ‘Dave’ Season 3 | Byron Cohen/FX

New music from Lil Dicky and GaTa featured in ‘Dave’ Season 3 Episode 1

The season 3 premiere opens with a new Lil Dicky song about a broken condom. Because what else would the Philadelphia-based rapper sing about besides a very personal life experience? 

“Sliding off, where’s the condom? Woah!” Dicky says in his latest. Concerned about the loss of a condom and the potential for pregnancy, Lil Dicky spirals about the possibilities that could result from his situation. His sexual encounter quells his nerves: “I’ll just take the morning-after pill.” Relieved and grateful for the advances in “tech,” the song ends with: “this is life when you’re young and wild.” 

Aside from introducing Lil Dicky fans to new music, this scene lays the groundwork for the theme of the season. Dave is looking for love but in all the wrong places. The woman he slept with only did it for the clout of “f***ing Lil Dicky.”  

Later on his night off, Dave attends GaTa’s (GaTa) show. He performs a new song, too. It’s unclear if these songs will be released or were written for the narrative of the show. But one thing is for sure — they’re catchy as hell.

‘Dave’ Season 3 premiere delivers on the humor fans expect 

Burd has never shied away from penis humor in his music or his FXX series. That trend continues in Dave season 3 when his “scroguard” comes up in “Texas.”

“If you’re that concerned about STDs, why don’t you just use the scroguard that Mike [Andrew Santino] got you,” GaTa suggests after Dave’s existential crisis about the lack of diversity in condom sizes. “That plastic diaper s***.” 

Plastic diaper is essentially what the scroguard — which is a very real product, by the way — is. Or at least used to be. 

If you visit Scroguard.com now, it’s a shipping container website. But the Huffington Post previously reported on the “girdle made of latex that, [which] when paired with a condom, ‘reduces skin-to-skin contact’ over the entire genital region.”

Lil Dicky can’t escape women who want to sleep with him for clout 

After encountering a fan who gifts him with a concrete bust of himself, Dave meets Campbell, a nurse who seemingly doesn’t know anything about the rapper aside from his song about being drunk aptly titled “I’m Drunk.” She and Dave, who isn’t necessarily looking for another one-night-stand, hit it off. But Dave should know better than to dive head-first into something.

He decides to spend the night with Campbell and her friends and of course brings the scroguard. But when Campbell passes out, her friends reveal her mission was to sleep with Lil Dicky. “She probably said that because she’s watched all your interviews,” her friends tell Dave when he says Campbell claimed she didn’t know who he was. “She knows what you want to hear,” her friends reply. So much for wearing his heart on his sleeve. 

Dave Burd’s ‘birth defect’ comes up again in season 3 

Lil Dicky has never been shy about his “birth defect,” nor has he held back regarding how that impacts his sex life. Naturally, it comes up again in season 3 episode 1. 

“People have preconceived notions about the way that I behave — the way that I f***,” Dave regales Campbell’s drunk friends. “I’ve had so many insane sexual encounters and truthfully, the thing that I want the most is incredibly simple, but I could never really ask for it.” 

Dave Burd as Dave in season 3 of his self-titled FXX series.
The face of a man who wants his curved genitals straightened by a woman | Byron Cohen/FX
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‘Dave’ Season 3 Plot, Cast, Release Date, Guest Stars, Episodes, Plus Where to Stream Seasons 1 & 2

He describes the shape of his privates and how all he wants is the “bend” in it to “simply get straightened.” He conclues: “But I could never ask for that because it’s so weird and the woman would tell all of her friends, but that wouldn’t happen with my soul mate.”

Will Dave ever find the kind of woman who will straighten his bits? Watch new episodes of Dave Wednesdays on FXX and stream the next day on Hulu.